Life is fair. Life isn't fair, but it's still good

Written by Regina Brett, 50, Cleveland, Ohio. To celebrate my 45th birthday, I compiled 45 lessons that life has taught me. This is the most requested column I've ever written. I turned 50, and here I am again publishing this column:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, take another step forward.

3. Life is too short to waste it on hatred.

4. Work won't take care of you when you're sick. Your friends and parents will do this. Take care of this relationship.

5. Pay off your credit card debts every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree or disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It is acceptable to be angry with God. He will understand.

9. Save for retirement from your first salary.

10. When it comes to chocolate, there is no point in resisting.

11. Make peace with your past so that it does not spoil your present.

12. You can allow yourself to cry in front of your children.

13. Don't compare your life to someone else's. You have no idea what they are really going through.

14. If the relationship is supposed to be secret, you shouldn't be involved in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry: God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of everything that cannot be called useful, beautiful or funny.

18. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. However, your second childhood depends entirely on you..

20. When the time comes to pursue what you truly love in this life, don't say no.

21. Burn candles, use nice sheets, wear nice underwear. Nothing saved for a special occasion. This special occasion is today.

22. Prepare abundantly, and then come what may.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait until you're old to wear bright red clothes.

24. The most important organ in sex is the brain.

25. No one but you is responsible for your happiness.

26. With any so-called disaster, ask the question: Will this matter in five years?

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everything and everyone.

29. What others think of you should not concern you.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give it time.

31. It doesn’t matter whether the situation is good or bad, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself seriously. Nobody does this.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because he is God, not because of what you have done or not.

35. There is no need to study life. You appear in it and do as much as you can.

36. Growing old is a better alternative than dying young.

37. Your children have only one future.

38. All that matters in the end is that you experienced love.

39. Go out for a walk every day. Miracles happen everywhere.

40. If we put all our problems in a pile and compared them with other people’s, we would quickly take ours away.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have everything you need.

42. However, the best is yet to come:

43. No matter how you feel, get up, get dressed and go out in public.

44. Give in.

45. Even though life isn’t tied up with a bow, it’s still a gift.

Everyone explains it differently. Some blame it on a coincidence of circumstances, others on fate, and still others on their own laziness. What do the experts say? Read about it below.

Why does a person think about the injustice of life?

People rarely evaluate happiness based on how they feel. They tend to look at neighbors and friends. After all, even in childhood, parents instill in a person the skill of assessing their successes with an eye on others. If a son brings home a B, his mother does not tell him that he did well, she finds out what grades his classmates received. And praise will come from her lips if most of her child’s schoolmates received C grades. As a person grows up, he continues to evaluate himself in relation to others. If your neighbor has a higher salary, children study better, and a car of a more prestigious brand, the question involuntarily arises: why is life unfair? Despite the fact that a person is doing well, he has housing, food and a loving family, if someone else lives better, the feeling of happiness does not come.

But the injustice of life can be assessed in different ways. It happens that a person is really unlucky. For example, there is a flood that floods a house. No one is to blame for this, but for some reason fate has deprived of housing not all people on the planet, but only 100 or 200 people. In such a situation, thoughts of injustice naturally come to mind.

Why do people blame circumstances?

But natural disasters don't happen often. So why does life's injustice usually fall on circumstances? A person is late for an important meeting or a flight, curses the transport, traffic jams, but not himself. After all, he left on time, why now have to be late? Few people in this situation think about the fact that they could play it safe and leave the house half an hour earlier. It is much easier to explain to yourself the injustice of life by saying that fate is plotting. But for some reason, not everyone falls into the trap of failure. Or maybe everyone, but some people are not inclined to share their mistakes. There are certain natures that are always dissatisfied with something. But here you need to think not about the fact that fate is such an unfaithful friend, but about what exactly the person is doing wrong.

Why don't people always do what we want?

This question torments many. But if you sit down and think, you can come to the conclusion that each person grew up in different conditions, a certain set of moral standards was laid down in him. It seems that the rules of etiquette and good manners are the same everywhere, so why do some people follow them while others ignore them? The thing is that everyone's life values ​​are different. Someone can commit meanness and betrayal, while others are simply not capable of it. How to distinguish a good person from a bad one? No, only through trial and error. Some people have a question: why is life unfair and brings me together with bad people all the time? The fact is that a person himself forms his own And if he does not like a certain personality, somewhere in his soul he understands that this person has opposite views on life. It makes no sense to re-educate people; it’s easier to just stop communicating with them. Well, what if misunderstandings arise with loved ones, for example with parents, brothers or sisters? Of course, you shouldn't get rid of them. You need to accept them as they are. After all, it is precisely for their uniqueness that they are dear to you. And the fact that their actions sometimes run counter to your logic, you just need to accept.

Why do injustice befall good people?

Life is an interesting thing. Sometimes it can greatly surprise a person. For example, why is life unfair to kind people? The fact is that we cannot always predict the logic of the behavior of others. Therefore, you need to accept the fact that all people are different. Some of them are ungrateful and cruel. They may not want to be like that, they just can’t exist any other way. And since each person looks at life from his own position, it is easy to understand that mean people expect meanness from those around them. Therefore, when a good deed is done for them, they simply do not believe it. They don’t thank you because they think there is some malicious intent hidden somewhere. And good people are surprised by this.

Let's imagine this situation: a good person decided to help the wipers and cleared several spaces in the parking lot. Of course, he planned to park his car there in the future. But in reality it turned out that the well-cleaned place is occupied first. Moreover, those people park there who have never held a shovel in their hands. You can say that life is unfair to a good person, but is it so? No. It’s just that not all people know that the parking lot is cleaned not by street cleaners, but by kind-hearted neighbors. Therefore, answering the question why life is unfair to kind people, we can say that good should be done to those citizens who will appreciate it. So what now, not to do noble deeds? Well, of course, you need to do them, but you shouldn’t expect gratitude every time.

Does fate punish bad people?

Many people, thinking about the question of why life is so unfair and cruel, think that this is punishment for sins. But does fate really punish a person for his actions? There is no definite answer to this question. Some people want to believe that yes. Therefore, every time some kind of injustice occurs, a person begins to sort through all his recent sins in his head. And that's not a bad thing. After all, next time he will not commit a bad deed, as he will be afraid of punishment. Some call it the Lord's provision.

There are also those people who do not believe in God and despise mysticism, and believe that bad deeds can be done for free. But it’s worth thinking about how such a person lives. His circle of friends is very narrow, if any. After all, people are not inclined to communicate with those who do mean things, especially towards themselves. Therefore, bad people have a hard life, but this is not the injustice of life, but the result of mistakes that are made many times.

Experts' opinion

What do psychotherapists say? They believe that injustice does not exist. And here there is no need to delve into philosophy and say that the world and all the problems that exist in it are illusory, that is, they are a human fantasy. If a person says: “What should I do? Life is unfair,” the specialist immediately sees that the client sitting in front of him has hidden complexes and low self-esteem. If a person is haunted by failures, it means that she is uncollected, irresponsible and lazy. After all, why don’t successful people think life is unfair? Because they try their best every day to improve their existence.

How should a specialist explain to a person what injustice is in life and how to correct it? You need to find out in which area luck bypasses a person, and then find the root of misfortune. After all, no effect is complete without a cause.

Laziness is the cause of all misfortunes

Is life unfair or is it not? The second option is correct. If life were unfair, it would treat all people this way, not just the “chosen few.” But not the entire population of the earth suffers from injustice, but only a part. Why do some people avoid problems? Yes, because they know how to deal with them. Overcoming difficulties is difficult, and for some, even impossible. It is precisely such weak-spirited people who think that life is unfair. Although what prevents them from achieving success is not life, but laziness. It is she who causes many problems. A person can lie on the couch and complain that neither fame, nor wealth, nor success comes to him. To achieve all this, you need to work hard, be curious and active. After all, it is people who have these qualities who do not complain about life’s injustice.

Is it worth taking justice into your own hands?

"Why is life like this? Not fair, but cruel?" - complains a person who has been unfairly offended. And what will he do after these words? Well, he certainly won’t calm down, but, most likely, he will take revenge. People tend not to believe in fate and that it punishes the guilty. It is easier for a person to take on the role of conducting. Revenge is bad, and everyone knows it, but sometimes you just can’t resist the temptation. Many people are pleased to see the face of their victim, who just recently mocked him so rudely. Often guys take revenge on their ex-girlfriends who gave them their resignation. Needless to say, in this way they lighten the soul. Is this necessary? No. You cannot return the past, and having done so, it is impossible to restore justice in the world. Bad behavior poisons the soul of the avenger, and then his conscience will not let him sleep at night. Whether you have to endure this because you tried to restore justice, everyone decides for themselves.

How to deal with the circumstances

Why is life so unfair? Because people take it too seriously. If circumstances cannot be changed, then you should change your attitude towards them. But this is easier said than done. For example, it is difficult to rejoice at the success of your neighbor when you yourself have no achievements. In all situations you need to look for the positive. If someone you know has achieved success, then you have a unique opportunity to ask for a shortcut to happiness. People are happy to talk about their path to success, so they can warn you against many pitfalls. If you learn from any situation, bad or good, to extract not emotions, but experience, you can learn a lot, and then life will definitely not seem unfair.

Does visualization help you attract happiness?

Many people don't understand why life is unfair to good people. The easiest way is to blame fate for everything that happens. Moreover, television constantly adds fuel to the fire. They broadcast from the screens that if every day, morning and evening, you imagine what you want to get, then your thoughts will definitely materialize. And people sincerely believe in it. They sit at home and wait for success, financial well-being and a loved one to come into life by themselves. But this only happens in a fairy tale. Of course, the fact of self-hypnosis works well, but only when a person sets a goal, clearly imagines it and goes towards it without going off course. In this case, it will be difficult to blame life for injustice, you will have to take responsibility for your actions, but even if you are lucky, you can be proud of yourself, and not of the lucky star that shines above you.

Life planning

If it’s not worth visualizing, then maybe you shouldn’t set any goals for yourself? Of course not. Goals are needed, both long-term and short-term. What do they give? Understanding what exactly a person wants to achieve. It is best to put such goals into a list and print it out. Having achieved one of them, you can cross it out with a colored marker. And the next time you feel like life isn't fair, just go to the list and look at what you've already achieved. This exercise not only increases self-esteem, but also allows you to compete with yourself, and not with a neighbor or friend. You can start a good tradition: write plans every year. And after three years you will be able to see that everything is not so bad.

What needs to be done to make life fair

• Change your lifestyle. You should stop seeing only the bad side of problems. It is imperative to find a good one to counterbalance it.
• Stop wondering why life is unfair to good people.
• Increase your self-esteem. When a person feels confident, he believes that he will succeed.
• Stop blaming circumstances for all failures, learn to take responsibility for your actions.
• Do good deeds for the sake of the deeds themselves, and not for the sake of reward or praise.

We hasten to tell you terrible news!

You are ready???

Life is not fair.

Read about why this is and how to live with it in our article.

We often get upset because we think something is unfair.

Like, we gave this person so much, but he doesn’t show any gratitude. Or we work hard, sparing no effort, and someone else gets everything for free. Anyone can give similar examples of injustice.

Why is everything so unfair and what to do about it?

Friends, we will never have everything that others have. Despite the similarities, our life paths are very different. We may receive more, or we may receive less compared to others. But we will never get as much.

But it doesn’t matter, because comparing yourself to someone is incorrect. After all, we cannot take into account ALL the factors influencing the life of another person. In addition, even everyone has their own concept of justice.

Be that as it may, such is life.

And in this life, only we ourselves decide how to react to circumstances.

Judge for yourself: injustice in life is closely intertwined with envy. We envy those who unfairly have more of something than us. And injustice also provokes. “How could they do this to me?” - we are worried.? And this is bad and destructive for the person experiencing such feelings.

Doesn't know plus and minus signs. Everything we focus our attention on ultimately shapes our lives. If we focus on the negative, then this negativity will only increase over time.? We usually habitually experience negative feelings and emotions when we encounter injustice. This is a very, very bad habit.

Lifestyle and lifestyle does not at all call for turning a blind eye to what is unfair. Rose-colored glasses and castles in the clouds are not the answer.

But we have the power to change everything.

We can get everything we deserve. This is done simply: and. If we constantly envy other people's unfair successes, then we will never be happy. Each of us has our own path, unique and inimitable. And it depends only on us whether we will walk this path with joy or with resentment and envy.

There is also no point in being offended. Every person teaches us something. If we were treated (as it seems to us) unfairly, then this is an excellent opportunity to work on and draw conclusions so that this does not happen again in the future. This way we will become better. This is it - self-improvement in real conditions.☝️

You can also help someone who received less than us. After all, it’s so human to help those in need to the best of your ability. By doing so, we restore the balance of goodness in the world. There is no need to think that one person is powerless to change something. By our actions we create a layer of reality in which there is justice. And this layer of reality is capable of influencing the world as a whole. You yourself will not notice how more of what you consider right and fair will appear in your life.

CONCLUSION

We do not call for coming to terms with the problem of injustice in the world.

This is already a constructive approach. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you will have the opportunity to change something. Be sure to take advantage of this chance!

Guys, thank you for reading Lifestyle! You are best!!!

May 6th, 2014 , 08:00 pm

Life is fair!

We come into this world with different introductions: someone is born beautiful and healthy in a rich family, and someone is born not very healthy, not very beautiful, and maybe not even in a family at all, but, say, in a women’s colony .

Initially, we all have unequal opportunities. And so we gathered, so different, at the start, waiting for the go-ahead for the race called “life”. On your marks! Attention! March! Let's run. Not everyone, however, ran: some walked, and some crawled. Let me remind you that the introductory notes are not the same, and this, it would seem, lies the main injustice of life. But I don't agree.

Life is an incredibly fair thing and always puts everyone in their place. She has a place for everyone, but where it will be - in a stinking garbage dump or in a big and beautiful house - depends only on you. This is the highest justice in life.

I believe that a person who works hard and conscientiously, does not give up and does not catch a “star”, will never find himself on the sidelines of life. Regardless of the introductory notes received at birth.

Doing work that benefits people, not quitting what you started halfway, not being discouraged when faced with failures, not feeling sorry for yourself, being able to wait and not breaking the law - these are the principles that always lead to success. Always. Under any circumstances. I don’t know of a single case where a person who lives without violating these principles would not receive dividends from life.

Not received? So he was whining. This means that he was not useful to people. So, I gave up. This means that he wanted everything at once and was unable to wait. That means he broke the law.

Remember: the one who knows how to wait wins. Be useful to society, don’t scatter yourself and don’t fuss. And you will have everything.

She was born on Long Island into a wealthy family:

Since childhood, she had everything: looks, fame, money, health.

She is now:

Alcoholic and drug addict.

He was born 4 years earlier into a family of immigrants in Australia:

Came into this world without arms and without legs.

Now he:

Rich, loved, happy.

At the start, Lindsay Lohan and Nick Vujicic had very different introductions, but by the 30th anniversary of each, life put everything in its place. Life is very fair. This is good news for hard workers and bad news for whiners and slackers.

None of you will avoid this procedure, so be prepared for it if you do not want your place to end up in the bucket.

I gave you the recipe. Although you know him perfectly well even without me. But for some reason you don’t do anything. You complain, you dream a lot, but do little, you make one mistake after another, thinking that everything is ahead of you. No, Darlings, we have all been living on clean sheets since the very first day. Those scribbles that you have already written will have to be handed in.

Some people spend half their lives in hospitals, while others live happily.

Some languish in poverty, others do not know what to do with their money.

Judging superficially, it might seem that life is not fair . But life is always fair - it goes on and on as usual. Only our expectations from life turn out to be unfair.

Not only the events we want will happen in our lives, and people will not live according to our ideas. The whole world is chaos, where those who are not worthy are rewarded, and those who are not guilty are punished. Quantum physics has helped us understand that disorder is chaotic order. Obvious misunderstandings, crises, and disasters hide behind them a highly organized order of events. Chaos as a real process of disorder is natural and normal. Maintaining trust in the face of obvious chaos is the main component of a productive and happy life.

When life is not going the way we would like and seems unfair, it is natural to ask three questions: “Why Me? Why now? What to do?"

Why me?

When faced with life's difficulties, it is completely normal to exclaim: “Why me?” or “Why she (him)?” Why did this happen to us? Even if everything goes as it should, we ask: “Why was I lucky, what did I do to deserve it?”

The answer to all these “why me?” simple: nothing happens to us or to them. It just happens. The problem is that we take things personally, as if it happened to you.

A good example is a natural disaster. Suppose a hurricane hits, your house is destroyed, and we perceive it as a personal misfortune. Although the hurricane didn't actually hit your house, it just did. Your perception of disaster through the prism of your own well-being is due only to the fact that you attribute it to yourself.

The main thing is not to perceive any problem or life challenge as a personal disaster, believing that something happened to you. Whenever you ask, “Why Me?”, you expose yourself to circumstances, people, or conditions. We need to remind ourselves that nothing happens to us personally, everything just happens, and the question “why me?” only limits our ability to find a way out of the situation.

Why now?

It’s now when everything started to work out.

Just when I was just about to...it happened

Each person personalizes each event based on those that happen to him. If a tree fell in the forest and you were not around, it means it just fell. You admit it. The tree just fell. Nothing happened to anyone. But if it fell while you were walking under it, you take it personally and say that the tree fell on you. And then the questions arise: “Why me?” or “Why now?”

We are not given the choice of the timing or nature of the traumas and crises in our lives. We cannot tell the Universe what to do. We can only be part of the events destined for us by fate. Our own belief that it happened at the right or wrong time is insignificant and meaningless.

No matter how difficult it may be, we will have to admit that any problem, trauma, crisis, either in your life or in the life of your loved ones, will arise regardless of what we think about it, and no matter how persistently we try to avoid it .

What to do?

Our first instinct in the face of a crisis is to do something to cope with it. We have been taught the need to make immediate decisions regardless of the nature Problems. When something goes wrong with us, it seems to us that we must immediately somehow resolve the situation.

But before looking for a way out of the emerging Problems, it is worth learning a useful lesson from what happened. You should always remember that a lesson is much more useful than a solution.

If we focus only on finding an immediate solution, we will fail to learn the lesson, and it is likely that we will find ourselves in a similar situation again in the future.

The question “What to do?” stems from the desire to quickly put all the pieces together, without thinking about what the final pattern will look like. Remember, on the mosaic box there is a ready-made drawing of what you should get. You always look at it before you start sorting and putting its pieces together.

In life, it is also important to be able to see the end result - reliable and lasting - before doing something.