Conflict prevention. How to avoid conflict? Psychology of conflict

Conflicts... This word is constantly heard in modern society. Personal and work disagreements lead to various negative situations when people are forced to look for ways out of them with the least moral losses. That is why the prevention of conflicts is the key to a healthy relationship when there is no need to be in search of ways to reconcile.

What is conflict

In modern psychology, there are many different definitions of this concept. But they all suggest that conflict is the most acute phase of resolving various contradictions. They arise in the process of interaction and consist in the opposition of the participants in the situation, accompanying it with negative emotions. Most scientists focus on the inconsistency of the goals and interests of the subjects of the disagreement that has arisen.

There is a definition of contradiction as a speech action, where three stages of the struggle of interests are distinguished, the result of which is a conflict:

• differences of opinion;
• contradiction in dialogues;
• direct struggle, expressed in conflicts of actions.

Thus, conflict prevention means the absence of any speech acts aimed at causing damage of any kind to the other party.

Essence of the conflict

In order for conflict prevention to be effective enough, it is necessary to understand what is the essence of the contradiction, which has four characteristics;

• structure;
• dynamics;
• function;
• control.

The structure of the conflict consists of:

• object (subject of dispute);
• subjects (individuals, groups or organizations);
• flow conditions;
• scale;
• strategies and tactics of behavior of the subjects of the situation;
• outcome.

The psychology of conflict involves a dynamic process that consists of the following steps:

• the substantive situation, when there are objective reasons for the conflict;
• conflict interaction, where the incident itself occurs;
• conflict resolution, which can be full or partial.

The conflict performs various functions, and some of them are quite important for the effective interaction of the parties:

• dialectical, implying the identification of the causes of conflict interaction;
• constructive, suggesting the direction of the tension caused by the situation that has arisen, to achieve the goal;
• destructive, when various personal and emotional colors of relationships appear.

The regulation of the conflict comes down, in fact, to the ability to manage it. Management, in turn, is divided into external and internal. In the first case, control over the situation is entrusted to the leader, in the second, personal control of one's behavior is necessary.

The main stages of conflict situations

The reasons for disagreements can be very different, but common to all of them are the stages of the emergence and resolution of the dispute. So, the stages of the conflict are as follows:

• the moment of the emergence of a conflict situation, which can be provoked by one or several people;
• awareness of the current situation, expressed in a change in mood and various critical statements about the opponent;
• open confrontation, when the parties proceed to active actions in order to inflict offense or other moral damage to the enemy;
• awareness by the opponent of the conflict situation and the beginning of response actions;
• the development of a conflict when certain demands are put forward;
• the ending of disagreements through requests, conversations or administrative methods, consisting in a court decision, dismissal, etc.

As you can see, these stages of the conflict go from one to another, regardless of the type of disagreement that has arisen.

Outcomes

There are different options for resolving conflict situations:

• withdrawal from it, when one of the parties does not notice or pretends not to notice the disagreements that have arisen;
• smoothing out contradictions, when one of the subjects of the conflict either agrees with the claims made by the other party, or justifies himself;
• compromise, when both parties make mutual concessions in order to resolve differences;
• an increase in tension, when the beginning of the conflict is of a particularly sharp nature and turns into a serious confrontation, not limited in time;
• suppression of the conflict by force, when one of the parties or both subjects is forced to accept a certain point of view.

Types of conflicts

The psychology of conflict involves its division into types depending on the basis. So, the following factors can serve as the basis for allocation to a separate type:

• sources of occurrence;
• social consequences;
• scale;
• forms of struggle;
• subject tactics.

Also, conflicts are divided into two types in relation to a separate subject:

• internal;
• external.

The internal conflict involves the contradiction of the desires of one person, and the external one - the disagreement between him and the environment. The nature of the external conflict, in turn, can be interpersonal, intergroup, or such that arose between the individual and the group.

Interpersonal conflict is the most common and consists in a clash of interests of various persons. Intergroup, as a rule, arises in the working atmosphere, when the interests of small groups are opposed. As for the conflict between the individual and the group, this kind of disagreement is also characteristic of the business sphere, when the interests of the organization are contrary to the interests of the individual.

In addition to such disagreements, there are many others: family, teenage, personal or generational conflict. In each of these situations, problems arise with the closest people, which means that everything must be done to prevent this.

Family conflicts

Unfortunately, despite all efforts, conflicts in the family are inevitable. And the point here is not that people do not like each other, just not everyone knows how to resolve differences peacefully.

Conflicts in the family can be between spouses, between children, between parents and children, between spouses and their parents - there are many options. However, the question arises: why do some couples live happily ever after, while others become enemies and part forever? It's all about people's attitude to the current situation. The subject of the conflict can inflate the scandal by increasing its scale, but it is in his power to end it without great moral losses.

In order for a conflict situation to arise, the slightest reason is enough. Sometimes it becomes like a game of table tennis, when partners throw mutual accusations at each other, like a ball in a game. This can go on for quite a long time, it all depends on the desire and ability of the parties to make trouble.

In fact, there are many ways to keep the peace in the family. For example, if frequent contentions began to appear not so long ago, you can try to express your claim and ask your spouse to voice it in their own words. Psychologists say that most of the problems in couples arise due to a misinterpretation of the words of their half. Having tried this method, you will quickly see that the essence of the conflict has no basis.

If the cause of disagreement is a mismatch in desires, take a piece of paper and write down what you would like to do. It is desirable that the list contains at least 5 items. Then compare your desires and try to deduce from them something common for both. You will be surprised how effective this method is.

However, it is worth remembering that, regardless of the cause of disagreement, the main thing is to find out its cause. Conflict prevention is about listening and hearing each other. In addition, it is necessary to voice your desires, not expecting that they will be guessed by your spouse. If you follow these two rules, the number of conflict situations in family life will be minimized.

The problem of fathers and children

In modern society, there are three main directions: older, mature and young. The conflict of generations is a normal component of the relationship between older and younger.

As for the discussion of this type of disagreement, the transition to micro levels is inevitable, when such situations become commonplace in any average family, where the views of parents differ from those of children or adolescents. However, different worldviews do not necessarily lead to conflict situations.

How to avoid generation gap? The only way out of this situation is the acceptance of the views of the other side, mutual respect and tolerance. For example, pensioners, having ceased to perform their daily professional duties, find themselves in a difficult psychological situation when they need help and support from loved ones.
Adolescents, in turn, are at an age when categorical and complete denial of the opinions of adults is normal for them. Standing between pensioners and youth are mature people who may also suffer from different views on the lives of their parents or children. In this case, each of the parties must be tolerant of the opinions of others and respect them. Only such mutual understanding can be the answer to the question of how to avoid conflict between different generations.

Teenage conflicts

In adolescence, which is considered one of the most difficult periods, conflicts occupy a special place, being an integral part of social life. Adolescent conflicts arise not only in relationships with parents, but also when communicating with peers. Often it is the difficult relationships of the child with his comrades that become a serious cause for parental concern. At this time, adults are required to make every effort to help the teenager avoid communication difficulties. There are several rules, the observance of which can help to avoid such situations and help the teenager most painlessly move on to the next stage of life. So, if your goal is to prevent conflicts, you are required to:

• Don't blame the teenager for everything. It is at this stage of life that trusting relationships with adults are crucial for him. Therefore, it is extremely important that the child knows that he can trust you in any situation, without fear of accusations against him.
• Find out the reason for the disagreement. Find out from the child all the details of what happened before drawing conclusions. If a teenager withdraws into himself, you should talk to school teachers and find out the cause of the problem.
• Realize that parental intervention is not always beneficial. If we are talking about a quarrel between best friends who can swear several times a day, and sometimes it comes to a fight, then the intervention of adults will only have a negative result. Before making a decision to help a child, find out all the details of what happened.
• Show no indifference. Not always the position of an outside observer is beneficial. For example, if your child has serious problems with peers who do not accept him in their circle, this can lead to serious psychological problems in the future. Such a situation should be taken under control as early as possible, finding out the reasons for such behavior.

Your benevolent attitude and tolerance are crucial in the painless resolution of teenage conflicts.

Personality Conflicts

Particularly common are personal conflicts that can arise both between colleagues and between people connected by various social ties. They, as a rule, appear due to the impossibility of accepting the point of view, ideology, value system and other attitudes of the enterprise. Disagreements may also arise between employees due to the incompatibility of their characters and other psychological characteristics.

The main quality that helps in overcoming such situations is tolerance towards the opinions of others. It is necessary to realize that no one is obliged to share your point of view, because each person has his own opinion. Awareness of this fact makes it easier to perceive personal differences.

Conflict Resolution Styles

Depending on the goals and interests of the subjects of the conflict situation, the following styles of its resolution are distinguished:

1. Competition is one of the toughest options for resolving conflict situations. Suitable for people seeking to solve the problem in the first place to satisfy their own interests. The style is most acceptable in cases where the subject of the conflict is an employee of the organization, and the resolution of the situation is in the competence of the leader. In this case, it is competition that will teach employees to obey, and also help restore faith in the success of the enterprise in a difficult situation.
2. Evasion - is expressed in too long postponing a decision under various pretexts. It leads to the fact that the situation only becomes more complicated over time, so this style is the least preferred.
3. Adaptation - implies a focus on the behavior of others and an unwillingness to defend one's own interests. The result of choosing this style of conflict resolution is a concession to the requirements of the opponent and the recognition of his rightness.
4. Cooperation - involves solving the problem in one's favor, taking into account the interests of the other side. This is the most acceptable style of resolving social conflicts, because it is the key to maintaining peaceful relations in the future.
5. A compromise based on mutual concessions on both sides. It is suitable for situations where the goals of the parties coincide, only the ways to achieve them differ. This style of conflict resolution is often the best option for participants.

The main ways to resolve conflict situations

All currently existing methods of conflict resolution can be divided into two large groups: negative and positive.

Negative ones mean the struggle for one's own interests, the main goal of which is to change the conflict situation. This can be achieved in various ways:

• affecting the other side;
• changing the balance of power;
• using both true and false information about the opponent for their own purposes;
• correctly assessing the other side and its capabilities.

This method of resolving the conflict is quite aggressive and often leads to a violation of unity between the parties in the future. That is why, as far as possible, it should be avoided.

Positive ways of resolving conflicts involve negotiating to determine the most optimal solution to the situation. They, as a rule, require concessions from the subjects and lead to partial satisfaction of the interests of the parties.

Thus, there are many ways to resolve conflict situations, but the best way is to prevent it.

How to avoid conflicts

The most common reason for this kind of disagreement is the excessive emotionality of a person. If your goal is to prevent conflicts, you should learn:

• calmness and stress resistance, thanks to which you can calmly assess the current situation;
• keep your emotions under control in order to be able to convey arguments to your opponent as efficiently as possible;
• listen and pay attention to the words and manifestation of the feelings of others;
• realize the right of each person to resolve this or that situation in his own way;
• do not use offensive words and do not act in order to humiliate the opponent.

Following these rules will help to avoid the occurrence of various conflict situations, and therefore the need to look for the best way out of them.

Should conflicts always be avoided?

A conflict situation is always a clash of interests. Such a confrontation implies that each of the parties will try to defend their desires and point of view, which will inevitably lead to all sorts of disagreements. Of course, it is difficult to argue with the fact that a bad peace is better than a good quarrel, and it is better to remain silent somewhere than to provoke a scandal.

But if you look at the situation from the other side, it turns out that conflicts are of some benefit. For example, they help to see existing problems in a new light. This applies to both personal and business relationships. Expressing your opinion is always better than silently experiencing your own dissatisfaction. In personal relationships, such silence will sooner or later lead to a large-scale scandal that can end in a complete separation of people. This applies to couples, friends, and even parents and children. No person can silently endure discontent all his life, sooner or later it will come out. The later this happens, the worse the consequences will be. That is why the periodic occurrence of conflict situations will avoid global problems in relations. However, it must be borne in mind that it is necessary to resolve them correctly so that they do not drag on and do not become a habitual way of life.

With regard to business relationships, conflicts of various kinds also allow you to see the problems that exist in the team, the solution of which should be started as early as possible.

When people live for years without a conflict situation, this indicates a lack of closeness between them and indifference to each other. No one can read another person's mind and fully live up to his expectations. Therefore, it is imperative to pronounce your desires, even if this leads to a small conflict. The desire to negotiate and solve the problem peacefully will improve relations, instead of causing harm.

However, too much disagreement is not an indication of a healthy relationship either, so conflict prevention is sometimes the best way to resolve a situation.