Exhibition “I have always waited only for you and love only you. “Someone is always waiting for you, you are always rushing somewhere, but it’s as if we are just in the shower”: three mothers about adult children You were always waiting

We found out how mothers feel when their children become adults

Mothers whose “little and dear ones” went to live in other cities talk about how quickly their children grew up

Anna, 46 years old:

Vova has always been “very much my” son. I can’t say that I suppressed him, but I always controlled him. When he was little, they told me: “You are putting pressure on him.” He had always been a fairly soft child, pliable, but at one point he suddenly felt it necessary not to follow the lead. He started saying no. It started around the age of 13.

We did not have global problems, he did not commit unseemly acts, Vova simply became more mature in his reasoning, he acquired his own opinion and character. His maturation was reflected in the fact that he became less dependent on me. Previously, if someone spoke to him, he would look at me before answering, wondering how my mother would react. And now he has become more independent.

If before that I was tough, then at that moment it went away. I realized that my usual parenting methods would no longer work and I needed to find a common language in a different way. I started to maneuver. Not him, but me. I curled around him like a vine so that he could hear me. I realized that I shouldn’t put pressure and tire me, because this could ruin my relationship with my son.

It is still quite closed, and in many ways I can only speculate. My son allows me to approach him in portions and, unfortunately, these doors rarely open.

No matter how good a mother is, there is a line that a child will not allow to cross. But children need to know that we are always on their side.

Now he is in Moscow, and I don’t just miss him. Everything was lost: no one to cook for, no one to look after, no one to iron shirts. Until this moment, the word “depression” remained unclear to me. Now I felt it for myself: this is devastation. The most important thing was gone from my life. He left.

But I understand that I didn’t give birth to Vova so that he could live for me. His life is there. Yes, I could convince him to stay in Kursk. And then he would reproach me for it. Why ruin a child’s life for the sake of your maternal egoism?

At some moments he gets very bored, and I feel it. Probably, I’m still a close person to him.

Irina, 53 years old:

How does a mother feel when she realizes that her child is growing up? Bitterness. Because the children are no longer around. And more often they are somewhere, but not at home. Someone is always waiting for them, they are always rushing somewhere, but it’s as if we are just in our souls, the children have no time for us.

You understand that there, with friends, it’s more important to them than here. Among young people they are more interesting and pleasant - this is correct and normal. But it is very important for parents to have the opportunity to sit down and talk. At the same time, I understand perfectly well that being in the company of adults is not very joyful. I went through this myself. I remember everything.

It seems to me that boys and men remain boys until they are very old. Girls mature earlier. When Anya left me, I told her: “Keep in mind that no matter what happens, only you will be responsible.”

Last winter I felt that she had matured: now she has different thoughts, a different sense of life and attitude towards herself. She became independent, more reasonable in situations and in her requests, and learned to make decisions.

I told myself: “I have adult daughter and I should accept the situation as it is. Yes, she is only 19 years old, but she has grown up.” Sometimes she is 15 again. It happens that a wave of emotions, rash desires will come, I have to explain something to her, say “no”, stop her. Then the daughter cools down: “You were right, mom. Everything resolved itself."

Natalya, 39 years old:

After graduating from school, Dima entered the Institute of the Ministry of Internal Affairs. And I understand that if he lived here and studied at a civilian university, the story would be different. I would worry about what he was doing, but he wouldn't even think about whether there was food in the refrigerator or whether he should pay for it. public utilities. When children live in a family, everything clicks for them: if you want something tasty - take it, wear something nice - please. Therefore, at school he only believed that he had grown: “I can decide for myself whether I’ve done my homework!”, “I know better when I’m hungry!” But it turned out differently with him.

In his second year, we came to visit him, and I saw the difference: he began to do his own laundry, sew, learned to cook, and began to plan a budget. He has matured. Leaves the room and turns off the light!

The fact that children are growing up must be accepted and supported. This is a reason for pride, not for correction. And my parents once told me: “You can’t do this,” “This is bad,” but I ignored the comments and did what I thought was necessary. Golden Rule: Until you make your mistakes yourself, you will not believe and listen.

Mothers don't want to grow up quickly. It’s easier for us when the children are small and have the same small problems. Small child needs his mother, and when he grows up, his mother already needs him. Now Dima’s values ​​have changed, and he has become more interested in me. It's finished. I was waiting for this.

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I remind you:

That year the weather was autumn
I stood in the yard for a long time,
Winter was waiting, nature was waiting.
Snow only fell in January
On the third night.

A.S. Pushkin "Eugene Onegin", chapter 5.1

In addition, January 3 in the strict style is January 16 in the new style.
So don't cry, Happy New Year!

From baby.ru:
I remember my daughter woke up (she slept separately in her bed), got off and went for a walk around the apartment, until I opened my eyes, she didn’t touch me. But she did a terrible job: she would take out all the cereal and mix it, one day she found my lipstick, she smeared everything that was possible in the house, only then did I find out: it turns out that there was so much lipstick in the tube, once for my husband (he was still a cadet then) was) pooped in her boots, it’s still a mystery how she did it, in general she did a lot of housework while mom was sleeping.

Sasha and only): You added Sasha and only).
Sasha and only): hey)))
Dark_Mirror: How did you know?
Sasha and only): what exactly?)
Dark_Mirror: You write “uh... gay,” how did you know?
Sasha and only): what a fool you are)))
Dark_Mirror: Balda is a type of blacksmith hammer with a mass of 7-16 kg
Dark_Mirror: What does it look like????
Sasha and only): I see you’re in the mood)
Dark_Mirror: I'm a gay hammer, I'm always in the mood)))

SHE: damn, I was waiting for Olka after work. she promised to go with me to Panorama to look at my purse. I saw a white one there, like Christina’s, only smaller and a little darker, like beige...
HE: I switch to brain protection mode from failures: 1. I turn off the input audio channel...

PLUSH: I have always had a dream to buy a big dog and have it sleep on the bed with me))) instead of my husband)))
Enya: does your husband know?
PLYUSHA: guesses...
PLUSH: sometimes I hug him by his furry legs and sayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly...)

“It’s spring, have the rooks arrived?”

All flesh screaming with harmonies
I was waiting for spring, love to come
But there was no rook!
But there was no freak!

______________
e.MAE.2004 CAKE

Your face is bright, your soul is pure
You dance like a white seagull
But there is a special feature
You are not on friendly terms with your head!
______________
e.MAE.2002 CAKE

I was waiting for you then...

I was waiting for you then
In those cruel days
Where is the blizzard behind you
Covers his tracks.
Where the fire doesn't burn
And our house is not warm,
Where it's freezing cold
And the soul is like in prison.

You left without telling
Two words goodbye
Dipping headlong
In a sea of ​​troubles and adversity.
Yes, I know that you
Without wanting it
He went on a long journey;
Where to keep the victory
Given by someone above.

I was waiting alone
And that path is not easy,
What fate gave me
To tell the whole story,
A piece of a woman's share,
Polluted my life.
Know one thing, my dear -
You are not forgotten yet!

The secretary enters the boss's office in tears. He asks: “What’s wrong with you, Lenochka?” - I just visited the gynecologist, and he confirmed to me that I am pregnant. Judging by the timing, this could only happen when we went to the seminar, which means that I am pregnant from you. And since you are married, and I am married, and it’s too late to have an abortion, I have only one option left - to commit suicide! The boss, with a look of deep sympathy, puts his hand on her shoulder and gently says: “Okay, Lenochka.” I was always sure that I could rely on you!

she (01/14/2009)
do you want to laugh?

I wake up today, I slept for 3 hours, I open my eyes, my mother is pointing at the floor, I look, the phone is lying disassembled..
Well, I was like, someone called me, so I turned it off... she, well, why the hell are you turning off your phones. I crawled out of bed, I’m collecting my phone, I can’t find the SIM card. I restore what was.
In general, I’ve only been sleeping for about an hour, then the phone rings, well, as always, without even looking, I turn it off. and I didn’t just turn it off, but disassembled it into all possible parts in this case (it’s not clear why), and now attention (!) I threw the SIM card (!) on the floor, covered it with a pillow so that I couldn’t hear it vibrating! :-D 8-)

he (14/01/2009)
are you serious?!