How to change your life for the better. Luck, luck and white stripes, or how to turn fate to yourself How to turn life for the better

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• I'm 30, I own a pub. I take the subway to work. Outwardly, such a huge bull. Once, at the exit of the car, I saw that one girl with a backpack could not squeeze herself out on her own. He decided to help her: he took the hood and went out with her. The next morning, I look, looking for me with my eyes in the car - so we traveled together for 2 months, I helped her get out.

  She let me listen to her music and generally behaved nicely and modestly, I even began to regret that she was only 15 years old. But one day it turned out that she did not go to school, as I thought, but to work in the Department of Social Policy and she is 25. It turned out that I took an official out of the metro for 2 months by the hood. And it would have been the most epic failure in 30 years if she had not agreed to go to a cafe with me.

• What did I learn! When I was in 4th grade, before summer holidays we gave flowers to teachers, and I had a huge expensive bouquet. I should have congratulated the teachers, but... They were cruel and unfair! And I gave it to the one who really deserved it - the cleaning lady. But we didn't see her the next year. And now, 9 years later, a friend told me that she was his neighbor and then she left the school with happiness and opened her own business. She says I gave her hope.

• “Suddenly fate? I'm not dressed up", I always told myself. Until she broke her leg in two places, falling in the bathroom. I went to the emergency room with an unshaven leg, half-worn nail polish, in my grandmother's jacket and without a hint of makeup. I met my fate there - a guy with a broken arm and half-shaven beard. Together for 5 years.

• One night I heard something fall in the hallway. It turned out to be a book. It fell off the shelf and opened to a page titled "How to Lose Weight." I thought.

• Once I went to a club with a friend, I was sitting at the bar, a guy came up to me and said: “Come to me, I will show you my raccoon.” No, of course, they glued me, but this was the first time. It became interesting, I went. We arrive, he opens the door, and a REAL raccoon runs out to meet him! In general, we have been living together for several months: me, the guy and the raccoon Garik.

• I was riding the bus for an exam and suddenly I hear inside myself: “Get off at this stop, go to a cafe, make a bridge.” I think what nonsense, I have an exam! The bus stops, something clicks inside me, and I get off. I go into a cafe, make a bridge and hear a man shouting something to me. I rushed, and the man behind me! He caught up and asks why the bridge was made in a cafe. And I say I don't know. He almost cried. A month ago, his family died in a car accident. He could not accept and decided to commit suicide. I dined and thought: “God, if you exist and I must continue to live, give me a sign.” And here I am.

• I really liked one guy at the university, I liked it so much that I constantly imagined how we meet with him and how then we live happily ever after. She imagined herself to the point that she confused reality with dreams - after the holidays, thinking about something of her own, she approached him and kissed him with the words: “I missed you so much!” By the slightly freaked out look of the guy, I realized that I was a fool. I apologized and ran away. He caught up with me, said that he did not understand what it was now, but he did not mind continuing.

• I am 35. At work I am a boss, in life I am a hermit. I don't have friends, but there is one constant habit: I go to the same pub, sit at the very back of the bar and just drink Guinness.

  On a typical pub night, someone unexpectedly covered my eyes with their hands and asked, "Guess who?" The girl behind realized that she was mistaken and, apologizing, went to the other end of the bar. She was so young, light, with eyes like two big black beads - not like everyone else. I couldn't think anymore, and the Guinness suddenly became somehow bitter.

  She had been waiting there all this time for someone, but apparently in vain. Like crazy, I began to think of how to talk to her, but nothing came to mind. The bar was closing, she was getting ready. I ran out and, in view of the terrible weather and her sad appearance, offered to give her a ride home.

  In the car, she chatted incessantly - there was so much life in her! I forgot to ask for her number, I came to my senses only at home. Came to the pub a week later, and there she was. Sitting in my place. I covered her eyes with my hands and asked, "Guess who?" She laughed and shouted, “I thought you would never come here!”

A total of 30 books on the topic of practical and popular psychology, the release of 5 million copies of books, a huge number scientific articles on important topics in the field of psychotherapy and psychology.

We have compiled 22 life rules developed by this talented therapist that will not only help you improve your relationships and succeed, but also turn your whole life upside down.

A well-planned result is the key to success

If all your actions are carefully planned, happiness will naturally follow.

Stop being a theorist

Both mature and immature people have knowledge. The difference is that mature people turn knowledge into actions, while the only thing left for an immature person is to criticize everything around.

Learn to live for yourself

As long as you try to prove something to others, you will live for them.

Nobody slows you down

Some people just know how to move fast, while you live at a different pace.

Dream real

If you like to fantasize, dream about what is possible to realize. Don't waste time thinking about unrealistic plans and goals.

You are not a dollar to please everyone

If you try to please everyone, you can immediately prepare for a great failure. It's impossible. And there is no need.

The book is the best friend

Instead of spending time with someone you're not interested in, spend those precious minutes reading. It will be more interesting and will benefit you.

Dare to praise yourself

Those who do not know how to praise themselves will certainly criticize everyone around them. Even if he has nothing special to say about this person.

The question of women's logic

The idea of ​​the existence of male and female logic is itself illogical. A person is either smart or not.

Pay your bills

If people are trying to make you feel guilty or grateful for their help, ask how much their services cost. Settle and say goodbye.

Stop depending on the opinions of others

A truly happy person doesn't care what others think of them.

Do not suspect others of all sins

Your biggest enemy is not the one who hides in ambush, waiting for you to slip. Your worst enemy is yourself. And the fight with this enemy can be very cruel.

Spend time with dignity and profit

If you really have an irresistible desire to get to the bottom of something, direct your aspirations to the study of philosophy or mathematics. Don't dig into other people's dirty laundry.

Ignore insults and criticism

The day you reach your goal, nothing will matter.

Don't wait and don't ask

If you really crave something, try to be the one who can control it. Do not wait for mercy, and even more so do not ask permission to get what you want.

Happiness cannot be the goal

It comes from within and you can reach this state when you learn to enjoy life.

Chat with enemies

Talking with friends is undoubtedly very pleasant. But only in conversation with enemies can you learn something new about yourself. Therefore, sometimes it is better to listen to enemies, not friends.

Depression is not only darkness

Depression is bad, scary and unpleasant. But it is also an opportunity to look inside yourself. Find out what makes you move forward and what slows you down along the way.

Relationships are for growth

If you feel that relationships, whether romantic or business, are holding you back from progressing and holding you back from success, reevaluate them.

Don't be afraid of people

If you are afraid to talk to people, get rid of this thought. Assume for a second that a person can be positive towards you.

Don't shy away from loneliness

If you're single, especially after a romantic breakup, don't be intimidated. Loneliness is part of your maturity and spiritual growth. In addition, being alone with yourself, you can be much more productive than usual.

Don't be selfish

Never be too selfish about your own happiness. When you share it with your friends, happiness has the ability to increase. It becomes more - because you see how happy your loved ones are.

Source: dailypositiveinfo.com

Sometimes the desire to completely change your life comes without understanding how exactly to do it. If you find yourself in this situation, look into your soul. Only in this way will you be able to draw up a plan for transforming yourself.

Understand inside yourself

Think about what specific nuances own life you would like to change. If it seems to you that everything around you is bad, maybe it’s enough for you to change your own disposition and adjust your attitude to what is happening around you.

If you don't like your job, you don't have to find the newest profession. Maybe you should find a position with a little different functionality, then you can fulfill yourself in work.

Take care of your health

From time to time, a prerequisite for endless discontent is insufficient health and general ill health. You probably noticed that your mood depends even on how well you slept.

Take care of your own health. Adjust your daily menu to include healthier foods. Give up depressants - alcohol and nicotine. Do not forget about the need for physical activity and get enough sleep.

Organize your space

A cluttered home can prevent you from reaching your own potential. Get rid of junk and unnecessary garbage. Conduct an audit in all closets, on the balcony and in the locker room. Some things should be thrown away, something should be given away. Believe me, your life will certainly change, as you free up space from rubbish for the new in your own apartment and in your head.

Carry out categorical configurations

If you've made small changes and have greatly improved your life by staying the same, but not being satisfied, maybe you should make larger changes.

Moving to another city, change of home position, beginning own business, development newest profession- here are the big configurations that will give a boost to your internal resources.

Set new goals

Decide on a set of new global goals and break them down carefully into smaller tasks. Without an accurate guide, it will be difficult for you to turn your life on the desired track. Do not forget about your own goals. Think about them often and do everything to get closer to achieving them.

Don't be afraid of change

The right attitude will help you fulfill your wishes. Sometimes it can be difficult to get out of your comfort zone, even if it doesn't feel right to you. Remember that you are stronger than events and everything that keeps you from changing is just excuses sitting in your head.

Change the environment

The people around you influence your life. Even if you do not observe a direct relationship between your surroundings and the events taking place in your life, believe that the choice of friends and acquaintances must be treated very reverently.

Only connect with people you have something to learn from. Losers, whiners, brutal personalities will become unnecessary ballast in your life, pulling you down.

The sages say that the feeling of happiness is not given by momentary joy, but by general satisfaction from life, harmony in everything. But how to achieve this very harmony? Psychologists advise to draw a “balance wheel” to begin with. It will clearly show in which areas you are doing well, and in which areas you need improvement.

Write down the main priorities of your life: family, work, health, money, hobbies… The number of priorities can be anything, but it is more convenient if it is even.

Draw a circle with a dot in the center. Radial lines will diverge from it in different directions, like the spokes of a bicycle wheel. Each such “knitting needle” is one of your priorities. Mark lines from zero (center) to ten.

AiF scheme

On a scale of 1 to 10, rate how satisfied you are with each item. Let's say your work is a ten, and your personal life is a deuce. Or vice versa. Put points on each axis and connect them in series with each other.

Ideally, you should get a wheel: smooth and round. It's even better if you have a top ten for every item. So, you are a happy person - everything is fine with you! However, if 7-8 points were scored in each direction, that’s also not bad. The wheel is still round! And this means that everything in your life is balanced and harmonious.

Another thing is if the wheel was “pierced” in some places. For example, everything is fine in your family, and not bad with work, and with money, but your health is good. So, set yourself a goal - to take care of your health. Break this task into subtasks: sign up for a pool, run in the morning, start drinking medicines recommended by the doctor, walk more, sit at the computer less ... And systematically complete point by point. The same applies to other "pierced" axes. After some time, draw the “balance wheel” again. This time it will surely become rounder, and life will be happier.

Philosophical way: looking for ikigai

The Japanese offer their recipe for happiness - to find Ikigai. It is difficult to translate this word literally, but there are analogues in Russian: purpose, realization, meaning of life, mission ... The Japanese believe that each person has his own mission. Someone can become a great scientist, someone - successful businessman, someone is an excellent mother, and someone is a talented artist. The sooner you open your Ikigai, the more possibilities you will be realized in this direction. And the sooner you feel happy. After all, a favorite thing brings joy, increases self-esteem, gives a sense of satisfaction from life. When you are “on fire” with something, you are not in a mood for depression and apathy - you want to get closer to your cherished goal as soon as possible: open your own business, give birth to three children, build a house on the seashore, make a breakthrough in mathematics ... By the way, such a “burning There is one more pleasant "side effect" - it increases life expectancy. Therefore, it's time to remember your cherished dream and try to make it a reality. It is not necessary to change your life drastically, you can go in the direction of your dream in small steps. For example, if you work as an accountant, and dreamed of becoming a poet, it makes no sense to refuse a slightly boring, but money work. You can still write poetry, as they say, "for the soul." And the future will show.

Fun way: go to hasya yoga

If drawing a "balance wheel" or looking for ikigai seems too tricky for you, just go to the mirror and ... smile. It’s not scary if the smile turns out to be forced and unnatural: the brain will still receive signals from the muscles of the face (“Smiling, it means he feels good!”) And will begin to produce endorphins - hormones of happiness. True, the effect will be short-lived. Do you want to enhance it? Sign up for hasya yoga, or, as it is also called, yoga of laughter. There are special techniques for "causing" laughter. In the classroom, you will really be taught to laugh - just like that, for no reason: contagious, flooding, like in childhood. This helps to relieve nervous tension, forget about stress, anxieties and fears - or rather, ridicule them in the truest sense of the word. After classes, you will feel free, inspired and happy, and this state will remain with you for a long time. By the way, psychologists largely connect our general crushing with stress with the fact that we have forgotten how to laugh. After all, laughter is a wonderful means of relaxation: free, effective and always at hand.

Personal opinion

Sogdiana:

In fact, everything is in our head. You need to set yourself up for the idea that everything will be the way you want. There will be everything! We are alive, our loved ones are with us, this is happiness. If you still find a business in which you can realize yourself, it will be absolutely wonderful.

You should start with your thoughts, worldview. After internal changes, external progress is also possible.

Try to think more positively. Many have heard this advice but don't know how to follow it. The fact is that you yourself can control which points should be emphasized. The same information will come from outside, but you will perceive it differently. Then your life will be better.

Focus on the good. Don't forget that thoughts don't just affect how your future turns out - they are a big part of your present. After all, it is thoughts and perceptions that differ happy people from the unfortunate. Filter the information that comes to you from the outside world.

With this attitude, you do not live in rose-colored glasses, you do not create illusions, you simply choose in which world you live. After all, the same reality can be different for different people. Of course, not everything will work out right away. A new way of thinking takes getting used to and training. But regular exercise and self-control will help you bring your consciousness to a new, positive level.

Learn not to get upset over the little things. Some people vent their aggression on every occasion. If you want to improve the quality of your own life, it is important for you to be able to properly prioritize and distinguish the really important things from the trifles. Annoying little things are not even worth your attention, and even more so the nerves. Giving too much importance to them, you risk wasting your internal resources.

Develop your strengths. It happens that a person who sets out to become better begins to eradicate all sorts of shortcomings in himself. But you already know that it's better to focus on the good. Therefore, leave your shortcomings alone for a while and engage in more constructive work on yourself.

Think about what you want from life. Sometimes the cause of failure is laziness, which, in turn, arises from insufficient motivation. In order for all your dreams to have the right to be realized, you need to clearly formulate them. Sometimes this is the most difficult task - to find out what you really need. Indeed, in society there are many false values, some people mistake them for their own.

Imagine yourself in a few years. Think about what you do, what and who surrounds you. Let this perfect picture, thought out to the smallest detail, be your guideline in drawing up a plan for the future. Having clear goals will help you make your life better, fuller, more conscious. And the true desire to achieve a certain success will help to overcome obstacles, overcome laziness and not give up in difficult moments.

Determine what exactly you are most dissatisfied with in life at the moment. If you find it difficult to work on all aspects of life at once, focus first on what is most relevant to you. If you are depressed by the absence of a permanent partner or partner, start improving your personal life. When there is dissatisfaction due to an unsuccessfully chosen job, look for your purpose. The main thing is not to sit idly by.