home Business I don't want to survive, I want to live. What to do if you don’t want to live: advice from psychologists

I don't want to survive, I want to live. What to do if you don’t want to live: advice from psychologists

Almost every person sometimes thinks about what to do when you don’t want to live. For some this condition lasts a couple of minutes, for others it lasts several weeks. Everyone deals with this differently.

People find themselves in such situations for completely different reasons: the death of a loved one, a huge pile of problems, separation from a loved one, financial responsibility... The cause of such a crisis can be a disease such as endogenous depression. A person with endogenous depression may have everything going well in life, but his emotional state is always terrible. This is a brain disorder in which the flow of joy hormones is blocked or insufficiently produced. This type of depression is treated with antidepressant medications. When you feel bad for no apparent reason, consult a psychotherapist, psychologist or psychiatrist.

If you know perfectly well why you feel bad, but don’t know what to do when you don’t want to live, we offer some tips on how to improve the situation.

Suicide or suicide will not change anything. Suicide is a search for a solution, just an inadequate one. It never changes the situation or solves anything, your death will not bring back someone close to you, your debts will spread to your relatives, and if you think that your life means nothing, suicide will not increase its value.

If you feel helpless, hopeless and unable to fix the situation on your own, seek help from others. Remember that there are always people in the world who can help you, you just need to find them. If your loved ones cannot help you, turn to strangers for help, place posts and advertisements on all sorts of sites and forums, surely someone will respond, and perhaps you will find people like you, who have experienced the same thing and will help Advice and experience for you.

To overcome the problem, imagine how your situation could worsen, and what you should do for this, then go from the opposite - do not do what will worsen, and write down to the smallest detail your steps to improve the situation.

Do something. Cook, work with your hands, create, do something that gives an objectively visible result. This will help you, especially if you receive positive feedback from other people. In the process, you will be distracted from sad thoughts, and it is always pleasant to see that your activities bear fruit.

Think about your favorite activities, what brings you joy or what made you happy before, remember funny stories and joyful moments from your life. You definitely have them. Think about them more, with their help drive away obsessive dark thoughts.

What to do when you don’t want to live and you can’t see a way out of your problems? Look around, ask other people for advice. During a crisis, your consciousness narrows to a kind of funnel; you can see very few solutions and do not always perceive the situation objectively. Other people will help you look at the situation differently and find a solution that you didn’t even suspect.

Set yourself a goal. It can be a very small and simple goal to start with - find 100 rubles, cook soup, go to the store. Achieve your goals and gradually increase their scale.

Find someone who needs you. These could be loved ones, children, friends, colleagues, people you don’t know about, but who need your help. Look around, maybe someone is even worse off than you are now.

Speak up. You can tell everything to a loved one, a psychologist in person or on a helpline, or sometimes even to a stranger. It happens that we tell everything that is on our souls to a fellow traveler on a transport. Get on the train or bus and tell everything about you and your situation to the first person you meet, a person you will never see again, he will not judge you.

We have presented you with a list of what to do when you don’t want to live. In short: open your eyes, don't sit still, be active, get help, and be sure to take care of yourself. All the best!

“I don’t want to live anymore.” Sometimes such a phrase can be heard from absolutely any person. There can be many reasons for this mood: the loss of a loved one, a crisis in life, financial or other problems. Depending on the character and age, the strength of the desire to leave this world may vary. But one thing remains unchanged - a person no longer wants to live. Where does so much negativity and pessimism come from? And maybe it’s worth taking another look at your life, but from a different angle? Let's try to understand this problem and find a way out.

Why doesn't a person want to live?

Let's start with the fact that almost everyone who wants to commit suicide is engaged in self-deception. Death will not solve all problems, but will only add to them for loved ones and loving people. But on the other hand, if you don’t have the strength to live, what to do and where to look for a source of solutions to all problems? Often, the words “I want to die” or “I don’t want to live” actually mean the subtext “I don’t want to live THIS way.” That is, what a person could not imagine his existence without was lost and instead of the usual plans, hopes and desires, a void formed. Or, on the contrary, negative events put so much pressure on a person that he finds himself on the verge of his physical and mental capabilities. Very often, against the background of a depressed state, depression occurs, and the one who utters the phrase “I don’t want to live” unknowingly begins to develop psychosomatic disorders. In other words, thoughts are attracted, become material, and a person can actually get sick and die. To prevent this, you need to be attentive to your thoughts and the behavior of your loved ones, especially in crisis situations. The slightest manifestation of even one thought about suicide should be an alarm bell, prompting urgent action.

What to do if you don't want to live?

Let's consider two different situations. In one of them, imagine that you heard from loved one the phrase: “I don’t want to live anymore.” What to do in this situation and how to behave? Follow these recommendations:

The first thing you need to do is listen to him carefully. Without interrupting, without showing your emotions, and without judging. Even if you were impressed by what you heard, try not to interfere with the narrator finishing the story;
check whether there is a real threat of suicide. For example, a person may say that they are planning suicide or say that they have already attempted suicide. Be warned that you will not keep this information to yourself;
Under no circumstances should you answer a person with simple routine phrases like: “You’re just overtired,” “You need to take a vacation and rest,” “Go buy yourself something tasty,” “Go for a walk,” etc. ;
if a person does not want to live, it means that he is in a state of extreme despair. Take the situation very seriously and support him with all your might. Remind that any situation will come to an end sooner or later, and the state of depression will also pass. If the situation is very difficult, it is important to urgently seek the help of a psychotherapist.

The second situation is to find a way out if you yourself do not have the strength to continue living. Let’s figure out how to find these strengths within yourself and look at your life differently and find out why you “just” don’t want to live.

Whatever happens in your life, remember: time heals, life goes on, and it belongs only to you! Any tragedy will be forgotten over time, most problems are solved by themselves, and fate sends us only those tests that we can handle. Think about what lesson can be learned from those circumstances that almost deprived you of such a beautiful and amazing life. Be yourself and do only what you like. Then you will learn to appreciate your life and see it only from the positive side.

Don't want to live? What's the matter - there are many ways to take your own life, all that remains is to choose the most painless and effective one, just to be sure. Anyone who really wants it does so.

In other cases, we can talk about psychological trauma, fatigue, when life loses its bright colors and seems devoid of meaning. And when a person says that he does not want to live, most often he means that he does not want to live exactly the way he lives now.

Psychologists say that out of a hundred people who are thinking about leaving for another world, only one can have very serious problems pushing him to take such a step. For example, an incurable disease that he is tired of fighting.

Polish director Krzysztof Zanussi made a film in 2000 called “Life as a Deadly Sexually Transmitted Disease.” The title says it all: we are all going to die. The hero of the film, 60-year-old doctor Tomasz Berg, suddenly finds out that he is sick and his days are numbered. He is faced with a choice: physical torment or suicide? And it is at such moments that a person acutely realizes that he does not want to die. In the face of death, previous troubles and problems are seen as small and insignificant.

The heroine of the novel “Veronica Decides to Die,” who was admitted to a psychiatric hospital due to suicidal tendencies, understands that life is wonderful precisely when, according to the doctor’s forecast, she must die.

What do people who decide to voluntarily go to a place from which no one has returned have in common? According to surveys of psychologists, 90% of them have, in their opinion, insoluble problems that they do not know how to solve, cannot, or do not know how to solve. But are these problems really so serious and a good reason to die? Man is mortal, and is it really worth rushing to set off on the final journey, which sooner or later will have to be taken anyway? Maybe you should give yourself a chance and think about the problem that has made life seem meaningless?

1. Looking for the reason

People often think about death during adolescence. And some young people even decide to take such a step. We are not talking about sects like “ blue whale”, when “smart” adults gradually lead the child to such a decision.

Teenagers do not yet realize the value of life; it seems to them that they will die “for fun.” They were offended, humiliated, hurt, and they want to repay the offender in kind. The thought of how the offender will regret what he did, repent and suffer after their death gives them pleasure, clouding their mind and fear of non-existence.

Infantile adults, who are stuck in childhood in terms of their level of intellectual development, often think the same way. Perhaps their parents once limited their independence, and now any difficult situation seems to them a dead end. Why strain and look for a way out when in one fell swoop you can take your own life. At the same time, with their death they try to cause as many problems as possible for others. There are any number of cases when a woman whose husband cheated on him commits suicide in revenge, taking her children with her to the next world - let his conscience torment him for the rest of his days!

Morally mature people are looking for the reason for their joyless state and seemingly hopeless situation. Difficulties in relationships with husband or wife, children, parents, colleagues, precarious financial situation, debts, least favorite job– almost every adult has to face such problems. But they drive some into depression, while others gradually clear away the rubble that has arisen in their path. Why do some people succeed and others don’t? Then what are they

2. They know how to find positive things in life.

What thoughts do many people start their morning with? With thoughts about the difficulties, troubles, and unwanted encounters awaiting you today. What thoughts end their day? Thoughts about troubles that have occurred, difficulties that have arisen, unwanted encounters. We program ourselves for it and are surprised that there is no end to it in our lives.

Or we can do it another way: we woke up and remembered what it brings us. Little joys happen to us every day, we just prefer to notice only the bad and focus on the negative. And we leave joy for big holidays.

Playing with a dog or cat, a morning walk to work, the smell of freshly brewed coffee, the first flowers - we begin to appreciate all this only when life gives us a trip and reminds us that we are not eternal.

We fall asleep with a smile: we don’t chew on grievances and troubles, but remember all the good things that happened during the day. They say: no matter how much time you have, that’s how long you’ll get it.

3. Change the situation

“You can’t see face to face. Big things are seen from a distance,” wrote Sergei Yesenin. Is our problem so big and so insoluble? If circumstances allow, it is necessary to abstract yourself from it, distract yourself, change the situation. And it is likely that soon it will seem petty and frivolous to us, or life will suddenly suggest ways to solve it.

Smart people say that there are at least three ways out of every situation. These are Domodedovo, Vnukovo and Sheremetyevo.

4. We think about what could have been worse.

You can also hear this advice: hopeless situation think about those who are now even worse off than us. But, firstly, everyone’s problems seem to be of paramount importance. Secondly, it is unlikely that a normal person will be happy with the fact that someone is even worse off. And thirdly, visiting hospices and nursing homes can only worsen the mental state, strengthening the idea of the meaninglessness of human existence and the desire to die easily and quickly. For example, Karl Marx’s middle daughter, 66-year-old Laura, and her 69-year-old husband, Paul Lafargue, committed suicide by taking potassium cyanide in order, as follows from their suicide letter, to avoid frail old age and not be a burden to anyone.

5. Looking for meaning in our lives

Before this, it is worth reading at least one book by Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist who spent several years in a Nazi concentration camp where his entire family died. At the camp, he organized a psychological support group for prisoners, helping them survive imprisonment and preventing suicide. Miraculously, he survived himself - hunger, cold, and illness more than once gave him the idea of ending such a life. What saved him was that in hopeless moments he imagined himself standing at the pulpit in a spacious, bright and warm audience in front of interested listeners, to whom he told everything he had gone through. He could not have known then that this day would actually come.

Viktor Frankl came to the conclusion that those who have lost faith in life voluntarily die. His motto was the words of Nietzsche: “He who knows why to live will overcome almost any how.”

Subsequently, after the war, talking with patients suffering from nervous disorders to varying degrees, he asked them why they did not commit suicide. And it turned out that some were held back by their love for children, others by talent that had not yet been realized, and still others by warm memories.

6. Remember simple truths

Perhaps some of them will come in handy in moments when it is difficult to make a choice - which way to go. These are the conclusions reached by people who right choice– they sorted out their problems and began to move on with their lives:

“When one door closes in front of us, another one is sure to open. But we look with regret at the closed door for so long that we do not notice the open one.”
“It won’t be long before you see that everything happened for the better.”
“Life does not consist of problems, but of searching for options for solving them.”
“Often we are thrown back just so we can run up and dash forward.”
“If you think it’s time to change something, then you don’t think so.”
“Stop imagining life as black and white—like a zebra. Think about the rainbow!

I am a girl of twenty years old. I’ve been at university for a year, I’ve been living “alone” for a year, that is, I’m renting a room in an apartment with very nice people.
I have no interests and I can't find them. There are simply no special preferences, there are no things that I want to do. Because of this, difficulties with the university - even those things that are easy for me, I always do very late - I’m simply not interested.
Mostly I spend time on the Internet. Light leisure; spending time without meaning or purpose. I hardly go outside, except for rare visits to lectures and equally rare trips to buy groceries. No friends. I don't want to communicate with anyone, it's like a waste of time. I have nothing to give to other people, communication is not interesting. I have virtually no self-esteem, this makes the situation worse. I don’t feel anything other than fear, boredom and pain.
I really, really don't want to live anymore. It's been a long time, but the problem has grown greatly over the past two years. Before that, there were simply long periods of depression. The only thing holding me back is the fact that suicide would ruin my mother's life. I survive on tranquilizers and alcohol on the most critical days.
What should a person without skills, interests and extroversion do? You could say that I'm just wallowing in self-pity and I'm missing a kick. But why kick, where? I just don't want anything. It is usually scary to go outside the apartment. Whatever I take on, I give up everything.
Maybe someone has encountered a similar situation. Help me get out of the circle. If you have any advice.
And please, don't talk about God. I'm not religious.
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Donkey Eeyore, age: 20/06/29/2014

Responses:

Hello!
I also had a similar condition, at about 18 years old. And it was religion, faith, God that helped me. I understand that this is a very personal topic. But if anyone here writes to you about this, please don’t ignore it, because it’s really important.
To be honest, I don’t quite understand - do you still want to communicate with people, make friends, or do you not need it? There are people, and there are quite a few of them, who live separately, and they like it. Everyone has their own path, and even if someone has many friends, this does not mean that this should be the case for everyone. If you feel so comfortable, don’t look at how others live, you don’t have to break yourself and try through force to be sociable. Although, in general, introverts are the best friends, because what matters to them is not the number of friends, but their inner qualities. So I think you could be someone's good friend. If you still want to get out of your state, try communicating with complete strangers - you can leave such a company at any time, and from the larger number of just acquaintances, there will definitely be at least one person with whom you will become friends. Just choose good places for acquaintance, for example, some courses, etc. Go to trial classes, just to get out of your usual state.
Sorry if I wrote something wrong, I understand your state and don’t want to offend, it’s just difficult to express in words everything that I want to say about getting out of this state, because... This is somewhat familiar to me.
Good luck, and write if you want. I hope you will be given many more effective tips)

Mary, age: 20/06/29/2014

Hello! It seems to me that the narrowing of your interests is due to overkill on the computer. I'm even sure of that.
I've watched it many times. My son sits at the computer for a long time: angry, irritated, doesn’t want anything. We take him away for a month - his mood is better, he studies better, and he runs sports himself. It was as if the person had been replaced.
As soon as you stop using the computer, you will become terribly bored. Then boredom will drive you to wash the floors, and study, and communicate. Then you'll like it.
What should a person without skills do - urgently acquire them, of course!
What should a person without interests do? - study at the university. All knowledge will be useful. If it's not interesting, it doesn't mean it's not needed. It’s worth finishing university just to accustom yourself to discipline. Get up on time, listen, do, teach, pass. Any job implies exactly the same thing. If you are used to this, then life seems easier.
I already said about extraversion: lock your computer and forget the password.

Elena Ordinary, age: 38 / 06/29/2014

Maybe introversion isn't such a bad thing after all. I read somewhere that introverts are those people who do not fill their loneliness with just anyone. I am an introvert myself and have almost no friends. Perhaps you just haven't met the person you're really interested in. This happened to me too until recently. Now I am communicating with a girl with psychological problems, and helping her gives me unprecedented moral satisfaction. Don't worry about not being able to give people something tangible. Often, many interlocutors (especially introverts) enjoy the fact that they are simply listened to. Art also helps me cope with sadness, especially classical music and theater. And don’t be afraid to try yourself in different areas, because you can often find yourself in places you never expected.

Vladimir, age: 23/06/29/2014

Good afternoon.

I want to give advice about spending time, activities, things to do throughout the day. This really helps me (although, honestly, I have psychological problems enough).

So, we must try to live by processes, not by ticks. In general, forget about the result (but this does not mean the absence of a goal!), but simply enjoy what you do. I'll bring you specific example: Let's say I need to read an article (I'm doing science). So, you need to forget about the checkbox to read the article. Just enjoy reading. From learning something new for yourself. Forget about time. And just enjoy this process. There are many other examples - cooking, studying, working, communicating with people, etc.

Try to do something (for example, cook something; understand some university subject; walk in the park; do exercises, etc.), and live the process. And feel whether you like it or not. I am sure that sooner or later you will definitely find something to do (more precisely, several things to do) from the process of which you will feel your life is complete.

Vanya, age: 24 / 30.06.2014

Thank you all very much for your responses, I didn’t expect them to answer me so quickly.
Mary, I will not ignore religious advice, no. It’s just that Buddhism is closer to my spirit, and if faith helps many people, then that’s wonderful.
I can’t make friends with faith.
I can't even say. Probably, I would like a couple of understanding people, but it’s very difficult - to find them and not offend them, not spoil their mood, I’m afraid to turn people into cesspools for my depression. I am very often misunderstood, that is, my behavior, my situation. It's hard.
Advice about finding dating places... I just don’t feel like it, or I’m scared to try to make contacts. It seems that with people everything is always superficial. I’m also afraid of crowds, so communicating with strangers is like torture.

Elena, yes, maybe it is so. I noticed that when they took me to the sea before, I was terribly bored all the time, but I didn’t feel bad. There was no Internet, that’s why life fell on me. But how can a student give up the computer? But yes, this is unhealthy behavior, sitting here from morning to night. It doesn't matter if I read books and articles or just watch videos, it's wrong. But to be intensely involved in university, sports, studies, etc. It doesn’t work.. it’s not interesting. I don't feel the point. I don't feel the need. Maybe because I am a person without dreams and ambitions.
Thanks for the criticism at this point.

Vladimir, no, no, introversion is the ability to be independent from others. I just have me, I have my fantasy, my thoughts and experiences. This doesn't mean I don't enjoy talking to you sometimes. good people(this happens very rarely and by accident). When I speak, it often seems that I am talking complete rubbish, I feel ashamed and I disappear. There is one person on the Internet, a friend, we have been inseparable for eight years. But this is not a replacement for real communication, is it? And there are only a few people like her.
Music, yes. As for art... I gave up. I don’t feel the fire or motivation anymore. I tried myself in some things, but apathy is an indescribable feeling of hopelessness, I just give up. All the time the question is in my head - why?

Thank you all so much for listening. It just seems like everyone is living and holding on to something important, and I have nothing to hold on to. My life is empty and I don’t know what to fill it with. After all, everyone likes to do something.

Donkey Eeyore, age: 20 / 30.06.2014

There are several programs that allow you to block social networks (if we're talking about about sitting in in social networks). There you can set time parameters. Those. per day you can allow yourself to communicate on social networks exactly as much time as you see fit. It seems to me that despondency and melancholy arise precisely from an unnecessary wave of information, which only creates the illusion of communication and the illusion that you have learned something new and useful for yourself. Often, unfortunately, this knowledge that we receive from the Internet is destructive to our inner state.
You were right about the kick that is missing. Something like paralysis of will sets in, and this leads to depression. You just need to try to pull yourself together and gradually, in small steps, take yourself out of this zone of apparent comfort. Google employees are increasingly sending their children to study in special schools, where there are no computers at all. And it is right. When children simply read, learn to count, and do handicrafts, they acquire truly important skills. And immersion in the Internet makes a person a social phobe. And if there are no external factors that could stop this process, then sooner or later any person comes to the state that you describe. You just have to admit that there is addiction, it takes away your life, time, feelings, emotions.
Try starting small. Just walk in certain time. Look at trees and houses. Maybe photograph something. If possible, give yourself physical activity, maybe ride a bike, or play the sport that you like. Just experiment for a week. See if it gets better or not. Increased blood circulation enriches the brain with oxygen, and this changes the internal feeling and mood. There is no need to ask yourself: why? Just force yourself to do it to get out of the usual circle. The main thing is to start somewhere. Feel the taste for life, understand that life is interesting. Deceive yourself if you want. And in a new state, completely different thoughts may come to you.
At the age of 20, many people are not confident in themselves, and many people think that they are uneducated and cannot say anything intelligent. But that's not true. There will definitely be like-minded people. There will definitely be something that will captivate you.
You don’t have to think for people because you don’t know what’s in their heads and how they really feel about you. There is no need to be afraid that your problems are not interesting and not close to anyone. This is wrong. That's what friends are for, to support each other, to share what really worries us.

Olya, age: 42 / 06/30/2014

If you just want to overcome everything yourself... what can I say. Try to change your life, it doesn’t suit you, change it. Take a different course of action. It’s not so important whether you do well or not, in any case there will be a chance to get out of this state. If you have a head on your shoulders, you won’t do bad things.
Hold on, you are complicating your life by giving up your faith. But it's not fatal, just difficult. I believe you can do it :)

Alexey, age: 32 / 07/02/2014

My good one! How I understand you! You wrote, and I understood everything, because I myself am in the same state now. You know, I've had this for several months now. I don’t want to wake up, and when I wake up, I have no desire to take any action, because I don’t see why, I sit on the Internet and read, read, about people who got out, about motivation, about mental illnesses and their treatment... As if life is a stupid game, the rules of which all people understand, but I don’t, and that’s why I got lost, fell out of life... Moreover, outwardly there are no big problems in my life. I haven’t won yet, but I’m fighting, I believe it will be better one day, I need to give myself time. And life... great life, which they are fighting for, which we have... we will open it! I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone, that I understand you. This can happen. Don't worry. My brother says that our brain, like other parts of the body, can get tired and need to rest. Hold on!!! We have everything ahead!

Lady, age: 26/09/22/2014

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If a person has a question about what to do if he doesn’t want to live, then he is a strong and strong-willed person. The willingness to do something is the right and wise decision, because in fact, under the desire to kill oneself lies the desire to “kill” the problems that have piled up and the helplessness they cause. The main thing now is to remember that there is always a way out, you just need to find yours. Useful and practical advice will help you become your own psychologist for a while.

1. Find the root of the problem.

The thought of what to do if you don’t want to live cannot be ignored, since the path from the moment of the first such sensations to the deep and point of no return can be very short. You need to try to find the reasons for the dejected state by analyzing what happened.

Some problems are on the surface, while others, on the contrary, need to be sought in the depths of the soul. All points must be written down on a piece of paper, highlighting the main and secondary ones. The process of determining the causes of this state helps to “systematize” your thoughts a little in your head, understanding yourself.

More than 90% of people surveyed who survived an unsuccessful suicide attempt claim that a pile of unresolved problems pushed them to such an act. Having identified the root of the problems, finding ways to solve them will become much easier, especially with.

2. Transformation into a director.

The ending of an action-packed film depends in most cases on the director, who decides what happens to the main character. Transforming into it will help you get out of the feeling of being cornered for a short time. They say that it is always easier to give advice from the outside.

If you use folk wisdom in practice, you can imagine that your own lived life is a film and someone else’s story. At the same time, it is important to answer the questions: “What does the hero need to do in order to want to live?”, “What is it better to avoid now?”, “ What can affect the situation?»

As a director, you should return to the list of identified problems, writing opposite each item a sentence on how you can get out of the deadlock and never again ask yourself what to do if I don’t want to live.

3. Look around.

They say that everything is learned by comparison. Indeed, many have been able to arrange their lives in the best possible way, but there are also those who struggle with personal tragedies, grief or illness every day. Perhaps, along with the problems of people deprived from birth, the reasons indicated in the list will at least partially lose their importance.

4. No to loneliness.

6. “Play for joy.”

The world learned about the unusual psychological game thanks to the American writer Eleanor Porter, author of the work “Pollyanna.” His main character is a young girl from a poor family, whom her father taught to “play for joy,” that is, to find a reason for joy in any incident.

For example, having received crutches instead of the desired toy, Pollyanna was happy about this gift, claiming that they were the ones she needed in the first place. Children's spontaneous play helps to understand adult and complex problems.

7. Finding yourself.

Often, an unwillingness to live arises among those who have been imposed by someone on behavior patterns or certain dogmas that they had to follow for many years. Understanding that you do not correspond to some ideal kills your own strength. This state is depressing, making you think that you are not living your life.

A psychological crisis is a signal that a turning point is approaching, which may be the start of a new hobby or finding a place where you really want to live.

Searching for an answer to the question of what to do if you don’t want to, leads to completely unexpected changes: changing religious views, engaging in extreme sports, adopting one or another philosophy of life.

Finding yourself is high personal development and invaluable life experience, and, as you know, there is no such thing as a bad experience.

8. Nothing to lose.

The reluctance to live sooner or later leads to thoughts of suicide. Then you need to act, making drastic decisions. If you are moving forward and are tired of everything around you, then why not try something that was previously beyond the line of “no time”, “expensive”, “not for me” or “sometime later”? After all, by and large there is nothing to lose.

9. Time heals.

People living on the Mediterranean coast take shelter when a storm begins. In this way they wait out the indignation of the elements. It is advisable to act in this way at critical moments, when a wave of despair hits you headlong, sweeping away foundations, habitual balance, and vitality.

Time heals wounds, reminding us that life goes on. After bad weather, the sun always comes out, encouraging you to look at what awaits around the corner.

10. Take a closer look at family values.

Procreation and care for offspring becomes law for the majority. However, is everyone happy with such a role? And is everyone aware of their true attitude to this topic? For those who are looking for their own, you can try to get into these questions for a day or two. What can you do to feel if the family is suitable for the place of the main one:

spend a day in orphanage, play with the kids, bring them small gifts;
get a job as a nanny, teacher, teacher or tutor. In some cases, you will need not so much education as desire and knowledge in a certain topic;
visit a friendly family;
getting a dog or a cat - caring for a living being, understanding responsibility can push you to make a more serious decision - having a child;
visit parents, brothers, sisters, nephews, grandparents, and other close relatives;
take part in a family activity or attend classes to strengthen family ties.

However, this category includes not only raising children and expecting grandchildren. This also includes love. And sometimes this feeling is only enough for two. You don't have to give birth to a son or daughter to live happily with your partner. There are couples who have been in a civil marriage for decades, do not plan a child, enjoying each other’s company. To understand whether this meaning is appropriate, you can:

spend time and energy searching for your loved one;
spend more time with your significant other;
make surprises for each other, make each other smile;
master everyday life together;
dream about a future together;
discuss personal values to avoid misunderstandings.

11. Learn to earn money.

This item also includes two subcategories - career and material wealth. To understand the first goal, it is better to try:

get a job where there are many competitors;
try yourself in different professions;
get your first major promotion;
achieve praise and encouragement from superiors;
make a tangible contribution to the development of your company (win a competition, offer original idea, non-standard approach, etc.);
open own business, work for yourself.

The career race develops good passion. In order for it not to subside, you will need one more trump card - money. But there is one nuance in this matter: the desire to get an extra dollar can develop into greed. To eliminate such a risk, it is better to immediately come up with a use for every penny. For example, earn money for new clothes, holidays abroad, building a house, helping parents, etc.

The same applies to power and popularity. They can turn heads and cause harm. Therefore, it is better to encourage these aspirations in yourself only if you have a sincere desire to lead people, help them, and improve their lives.

12. Remember self-realization.

How many people have lost their passion for life simply because they once gave up what they loved. The reasons are different:

poor income;
condemnation, pressure from relatives or friends;
failure on the way to the goal, many obstacles;
fear of failure;
the race for false prestige;
self-sacrifice for the sake of family, dear person.

Looking back, such people often regret the decision they made, but do nothing about the situation. They don’t take even the slightest step because they consider the moment lost, age old, abilities small. However, these are just more excuses. If you constantly have an activity in your head that once inspired you and that you liked, why not try it now?

If you want to be a dancer, you can enroll in a choreographic studio. I have a dream to become an artist - there are so many in the world art schools. As a child, I had the desire to travel a lot - it’s never too late to think about such a thing. The main thing is determination and understanding that no money, obstacles or condemnation can compare with the true happiness received from your favorite activity.

13. Give goodness to the world.

Caring for others and nature gives inspiration, lightness, and warmth. That's why doing good deeds is no less important than family or career. How to understand your predisposition to good:

sign up to volunteer;
organize or even start a foundation;
doing small good deeds every day;
periodically donate money;
adopt an animal from a shelter, help an orphan find a new home;
pay for someone's purchases at the checkout in the market;
smile at a sad fellow traveler;
replenish the ranks of medical staff;
give someone a free ride in your car;
unexpectedly play a romantic melody for a couple in love;
draw and give a picture for no reason;
pick up trash in a public park;
become a blood donor.

There are so many ways to help that it will last a lifetime. The list does not even show a millionth part of all the possibilities. The smallest good already changes the world, if not the earthly one, then someone’s inner one. Knowing that your own decisions make someone smile, or even save a life, is very heartwarming.

14. Master pleasure.

Hedonism is a system of ethical values that places pleasure above all else. Hedonists prefer to see in the moment they live. They know how to appreciate every second of pleasure and see it as the highest goal. How to come to such a worldview? Learn to enjoy:

delicious food;
high works of art - paintings, music, theatrical or choreographic performances, cinema, etc.;
beauty in nature, people, work, in everything from the style of clothing to the structure of airplanes;
any type of recreation;
freedom, independence;
feelings, short-term emotions, physical sensations;
successes, achievements.

And these are just a few examples. Despite the slightly exaggerated concept, it can be developed well. Psychotherapists teach you to see the good in life and are able to help in this area.

15. Become a fighter.

Wrestling is another source of excitement. Martial arts competitions are also included in this category, but they refer more to life fights. Overcoming difficulties, defending ideas, deep analyzes of topics - all this can captivate you for decades. How can one devote oneself to such a struggle:

start a business from scratch, establish, develop it from the very beginning;
trust in what you love, despite the obstacles;
attend a rally, become part of it;
defend your point of view;
learn something difficult that others think is impossible;
surprise your loved ones with your own successes;
break the stereotype by example;
find an original way out of a difficult situation;
come up with a signature movement, psychological method, an original way to solve any problem;
overcome your fear or even phobia.

Some individuals see meaning in the difficulties they encounter. They are not interested in what comes easy. For them, fighting is the meaning of their entire existence.

The sages say that the universe does not give trials more than a person can endure, so it is important to maintain faith in yourself and in your strength. Gaining invaluable experience on how to live if you don’t want to live will, in the future, allow you to lend a helping hand to someone who finds themselves in a similar situation and may need life-changing advice.