The most interesting stories from people's lives: life stories. Funny stories
"Dude, how do you even live in Moscow?! I ran here along the street with all my might
forces, and everyone went faster than me ... "
Spring, the girls are blooming. I run, as usual, through the lobby
"Kievskaya-Filyovskaya" in the direction of the escalator to Koltsevaya. Before
a beautiful girl froze into the floor with a comb: mighty, like a well-groomed mare,
body, wheaten, thick in my hand, braid flowing below cast
hemispheres, a chintz sarafan and a handbag of post-war style...
While I was wondering which side to go around this model of the sculptor
Mukhina, a granny-cart fluttered out from behind me (always
wondered what force wears them faster than a healthy 40-year-old uncle) and
stuck to the maiden, they say, daughter, is it not bad for you, maybe
validolchik?
The young lady, with great difficulty tearing her glassy gaze from the floating from under
feet into the terrible depths of the steps, looked plaintively at her grandmother, and,
drawing out her words, she said in a lazy chest bass:
- Granny... I'm afraid...
Saved the girl in the end. I held the cart, and the grandmother was elusive, but
with a precise movement, she forced the beauty to step onto the marvelous staircase.
Russia is still alive, eh! :)
I’m going recently in a minibus, on a weekday evening, everyone is tired, traffic jams. Then a young mother comes in with her son 4-6 years old, they give her a place, she sits down, her son sits down on her knees. Here they go one, two, three stops, the boy examines everything around - the upholstery of the seats, the shop windows passing through the window, the tired faces of fellow travelers, his mother's bag ... But the space of the minibus is limited, and he repeats his "route" - the seats, passengers, the window , then raises his eyes to his mother, looks into her eyes and in a completely calm, I would even say, businesslike tone, says:
- So, mom, I'll start whining now.
During the summer I went to the cottage past an abandoned construction site.
There, homeless people broke old concrete slabs and took out rebar from there. Iron costs 6-8 rubles per kg. It's just hellish work for a penny. With such labor costs, you can earn much more. But they gradually dismantled the whole abandoned foundation of the structure 50 by 30 meters. What drives them? Free schedule or no tax deductions?
Talking on the phone:
“We need two girls for the evening, only beautiful ones, for 3 hours, how much will an hour cost? Yes, in suits, just like last time. Those who were there that week are not needed, they are somehow modest, but it is necessary that they actively give. If they give well, we will throw them on top. And definitely older than 18, but not old or fat. In heels, of course. We will eat and drink, of course. Payment immediately. Just post a photo first. We agreed with the security, everything is in order.
So our marketer orders promoters for an urgent action, walking along the corridor of the business center.
I've been burring since childhood. Everyone and always made fun of this - in kindergarten, classmates, classmates, girlfriends, parents, co-workers...
I stoically endured everything. But when the letter "P" began to fall on my computer, I realized all the injustice of this world.
Hot water has been turned off since the beginning of the week. Due to my great laziness, I fell into the trouble of bothering with pots and heating water. And today, once again climbed into the bathroom and try to wash in cold water. I douse myself with water and yell, simultaneously puffing and groaning. I hear a neighbor's voice from the bottom floor: "Here you hear, a person washes in cold water and does not die. And you, like a peasant, are busy with your basins."
Bastard cat
I have a cat who lived to puberty and had a cat delivered to her. And the cat, although very preoccupied sexually, is still a virgin and does not know what to do with an equally virgin girlfriend. Either it will fit across it and twitch, then it strives to climb on its head (probably a Frenchman ...). He is so dissatisfied with the results of his attempts that their number has become minimal.
Here I am cleaning the room, and this couple finally reached some consensus and merged in ecstasy. I carry an armful of clothes and from this armful a belt stretches across the floor. Seeing this, the cat suddenly stops his honorable occupation and runs to play with the belt. The cat was SO surprised by the escape of the gentleman that for the first time in my life I saw a truly stunned look in an animal. Also, probably, I thought, what kind of bastards are men ...
A friend's cat with the name Auror began to mark under the table in the kitchen. And the cat is beloved, smart, offending - nothing. Bought a bottle of stink. Poured in the kitchen, helped. When the balloon ran out, Aurora was left empty under the table as a warning. Since then, when a smart cat considered himself offended by something, he came into the kitchen, yelled at the balloon, knocked it down with his paw and made a puddle in this place. There you are..!
Here, once again I came home late after another "workday".
I asked my wife how she was doing at work.
And I heard an enchanting phrase, completely consonant with my thoughts:
- Dear, if I tell you about all my problems today, and then you tell me about yours, then we will go to bed no earlier than three in the morning.
Love her.
I met a friend on the street. And he's just in the church a few
collected containers of holy water. We sit on a bench and talk. summer, heat,
Slowly drink some water. Just about to leave, coming to us
bukharik.
- Are you Russian people?
- And then!!!
- Maybe then a beer?
- No, they just drank a liter of holy water. We just have nowhere.
You should have seen his face!!! But it was clear that he did not believe us.
I went to my Spanish bank - to resolve all sorts of issues with my manager. Well, which SMS messages to send (this is not done through Internet banking, only with a manager), which credit cards to close (there is no point in using them in Spain) - in general, the usual routine. We talked for about twenty minutes in Spanish: I was at my best, I never even looked into the dictionary (s).
Everything has been decided, everything has been done, we say goodbye. The manager gets up, shakes my hand and says quite seriously in Spanish: "Alex, I've even begun to understand your Russian."
P.S. I immediately recall an old joke about a Parisian store where a sign hung: "Here they understand the French language that you learned at school."
I was told this story. I believe the narrator, while he is almost a participant. Came to his organization new employee. Still quite a young man, who retired from the army due to reduction. It is not known where he served there, but he began to master the computer in earnest already at this job. According to the narrator, he was a smart man and learned everything quickly. Once he showed him the possibility of viewing the photo series of streets and specific houses. But it's probably better if he didn't know. Soon it became known that he was divorcing his wife. It seems to be caught in treason. After everything happened, he himself told his teacher that the computer, specifically Yandex, was the cause. Looking at the photo row around his house, he saw a colleague standing in front of him with his wife at the entrance. That once had to do with his long business trip, where he stayed for more than two months.
The serious reason
I vouch for the truth.
Once drunk, the father-in-law, the director of the plant, told a completely terrible story. A worker comes to the chief engineer and asks to be allowed to go home. He naturally asks about the reason. The worker crumples, shrinks and says that it is very necessary. The engineer is not a vicious man, so he answers: "I'll let you go, but I need to indicate the reason for the absence in the documents." He: "I cut off my finger with a pair of pneumoscissors."
The engineer almost died on the spot - an accident at work. In short, an ambulance, nix to the skies, etc. When the peasant was discharged, a labor protection commission arrived at the plant. The equipment works fine - you need to press two buttons at the same time for the scissors to work, so there are no free hands left. They ask to show how he managed to cripple himself. He calmly supports one button with a stick (quite a common thing), lays down a sheet of metal and CUTS OFF HIS SECOND FINGER.
Later he swore that it was by accident, but the commission, having regained consciousness, closed the case.
Once we went to the country, it was light. Were stuck in a traffic jam. The car in front didn't have a stoplight. Two boys were sitting in the back seat, who, at the right moment, raised a cardboard box on which it was written "BRAKES". :)
At the beginning of the century, among the “golden youth”, there was a fashion at night on daddy’s Mercedes and Beamers to stray into caudles and smear rubber on the asphalt of deserted squares and final stops. Compared to masterful cinematic drifting, translating daddy's tires in front of chicks looked pathetic and very childish, but self-criticism was never strong point majors.
Yesterday I was walking from the last subway train in the direction of my wilderness. Absolutely empty street, bus turnaround area. On it ... I would like to say - silently, but no, of course - with a roar of the engine and sighs of the brakes, the KAMAZ sprinkler is dancing. Not a soul around, only two powerful fountains of water (both watering cans raised vertically) sparkle with diamonds in the yellow light of lanterns, which sometimes break through clouds of diesel smoke. Uncle dances masterfully, I somehow even imagined an invisible partner, whom he leads under the waterfalls of his rain. (Kamasihu, yeah...)
I stood and looked for about five minutes. I lit up. Seeing the light of the lighter and me, the driver somehow shied away, plunged into a dull real. I got out of the cab, flipped the watering cans down and started cleaning the street...
There were no tire marks on the pavement. He glided across the water.
(Not mine. Found online)
FREUDIAN SLIP
In a car dealership, a citizen whose appearance is already quite ordinary for Moscow time - even now on a poster of an extremist organization banned in the Russian Federation. Next to the wife wrapped in a rug. Near the budget standard foreign cars are pushing. She is interested in the manager - Does she have SELF-DEPLOYMENT? About the remote start of the engine as it turned out it was.
WHERE LIPSTICK LEADS...
On Saturday evening, after coming home from work, the wife found traces of lipstick on her cup.
Asks me a question:
- Did we have guests?
“No,” I say, “there was no one.
I don't use this lipstick...
Word for word. Scandal and accusations of all mortal sins.
The next day, after thorough inquiries, it turned out that the nine-year-old daughter found her mother's lipstick, bought long ago and now safely forgotten, and drank tea from her mother's mug.
I remember this day. October 1, 1990 Mom got me a ticket to the Crimea, and all September, the boys and I from all over our vast homeland tumbled into the sea. Everyone spoke Russian, even Vitalik Tsitsialashvilli from Navoi. Evpatoria, the sun, you know how to feed? Breakfast, second breakfast, afternoon snack, lunch, dinner, dinner. Every morning we went out in white shirts and pioneer ties to line up. To the anthem, the most distinguished raised the banner. This was spectacular! And then that day came ... October 1 ... We were awakened by the pioneers around 12 at night. Drunk. And they said that tomorrow there was no need to go to the line, the pioneers were no more. I was twelve, I thought more about the death of Tsoi than about the fact that this was the beginning of the end of a huge country. And that these guys from Kazakhstan or Georgia, who are standing next to me, will become foreigners in a year ... The next morning we came. To the line. In white shirts and red ties. They stood in silence for ten minutes. But the leaders did not come out, and no one raised the banner.
I temporarily live in Moscow and I had to take a taxi at night. I caught a private trader, drove a kilometer on the strength, I ask the price. He says: "1700 rubles." Well, of course I'm crazy!
I tell him:
- It's easier for me to throw you ...
And... woke up.
P.S. I’m lying, laughing: I threw it notably!
It was quite a long time ago, maybe now there is such a thing, but I have not seen it for a long time. I'm in a taxi, there's a huge puddle ahead. Along the puddle stands the punks, in boots, in jackets. The taxi driver accelerates. I told him:
- What the hell, you're gonna splatter the kids!
- Yes, they are standing here on purpose, waiting to be sprayed. They kind of have a game. It's not the first time I've been here.
We pass a puddle at speed, spray like from a hose. I look back. Judging by the behavior, no one is upset. I remembered my childhood: puddles, home-made rafts, "filled" boots, dirty water...
Now I’m thinking: maybe it’s better really like this, and not like now - to sit in front of a monitor on the Internet?
I can’t vouch for the authenticity of the story, her brother told from the words of friends.
They decided to go to a newfangled water park in the neighboring region. They scored his address in the navigator and drove off. When the navigation lady reported "You have arrived at your destination," the friends looked around in confusion. Around were only private buildings.
To the question of a passer-by, "Where is the water park," he somehow strangely nervously giggled and waved his hand towards the banner, on which it was written in huge letters "WATER PARK IS NOT HERE !!!"
Women's...
The traffic cop stops me.
- "The lieutenant is so-and-so. Why aren't you wearing your seat belt?"
- "Yes, I, mister policeman, just - just unfastened - fix the eggs."
A storm of emotions swept over the officer's face, the rights fell out of the hands of a body bent in half, which, going into a fit of hysterical laughter, trying to show, they say, drive faster.
For a long time I sincerely wondered why everyone was laughing at this story, but I really corrected the eggs lying in the back seat ...
After moving to Germany, many migrants from Kazakhstan have many good friends from work colleagues in their former homeland. My cousin and his wife helped their good friends for several years with money and parcels, supporting their existence. What was his surprise, or rather even shock, when his friends called and said that they were going to visit Germany in order to buy a Mercedes car. The car was supposed to be no older than 5 years and then cost from 5 to 7 thousand stamps.
An uncle came to other relatives with a list of things he wanted to buy in Germany, and next to each thing was the name of a relative who had to pay for the purchase.
At the airport in Frankfurt met the nephew of the daughter-in-law from Kazakhstan. He walked holding a small plastic bag in his hand, in which there was one toothbrush. It was all his luggage, which he took with him, and went to visit for a whole month, he didn’t even take his underpants with him.
I have a friend, a guy who is crazy and frostbitten at 100 - the preamble.
We are driving in my car around Kharkov, looking for a house with a specific number, and we are driving along the Poltava Way (who knows, he will understand) after the bridge there are cops, I think I’ll park and ask where the house number is such and such ... I slow down near a young cop and the other a little to the side and further down the street on the mobile to actively chatter ... well, I opened the passenger window and through Drula I ask like Where is this street where is this house ... he tries to explain something there, but moves out that the scary knows better ... the one who on the phone p ... dit ... we get to him and I don’t have time to ask so my friend gives it out the window - hear the captain, the young man has no change from a hundred, he looked in his pockets without ceasing to talk, took out a fifty kopeck, unfastened it, Dryulya I took it and we drove off ... then I drove around this road for a week ...
I don't even know if this is good or not.
I'm on the subway. Something female enters the car, but of a homeless appearance and a corresponding smell. Half the wagon shied away from her like the plague; a woman comes up to her, hands her a hundred and asks her to get out of the car. And then I came up with a business plan...
Dad came home from work, all cold. Feels unimportant. In connection with the commotion about the flu, I decided to take the temperature.
- 36.8. Oh, I'm the sickest person in the world. I need a jar of jam and a small bottle of cognac.
The first time I felt like a driver was not when I stopped drenched in cold sweat from the mere thought that there, in the parking lot, a car was waiting for me.
And not when he began to put pressure on the brake while in the passenger seat.
And not even when he began to chuckle in the direction of "teapots" and "summer residents" and contemptuously call them "deer".
And I became a driver at the moment when I was stomping down the street on foot, I heard a noise from behind, quite mechanically looked up to look in the rear-view mirror and was shocked that there was no mirror in place.
Everyone has moments in life when difficulties are overcome, and it seems that hands are about to drop ... The stories of these amazingly strong-willed people will help many of us understand that you can cope with any situation and under any life circumstances, the main thing is to believe in yourself and to your strength!
/ Life stories
/ Life stories
The history of the creation of an amateur series about the manners and customs of the African country of Ghana and the position of women in society. Even if you are a doctor of sciences or, by chance, the owner own business, for an African man it does not matter. You are a woman, which means that you should not have a personal opinion, as well as desires.
/ Life stories
Timur Belkin is professionally engaged in photography, creates websites, develops the public “Another Odessa”, in which he covers informal events of the seaside city, conducts performances as part of the authentic La Briar theater. But today we are going to talk about the features of hitchhiking in domestic open spaces.
/ Life stories
We are the fast food generation. We have everything quickly, in a hurry: instant pictures, short SMS, express trips... A crazy kaleidoscope of events behind which you can't see the essence... Why are we in such a hurry to live? This question was asked to the heroine of the story by an old antiquarian. And the search for an answer helped the girl find her calling and taught her to value time.
/ Life stories
On the International Day of the Girl, which is celebrated all over the world today in support of equal rights, I would like to recall such an important, integral (albeit sometimes hated) part of our life as education. To get an education, for example, in Afghanistan, girls literally risk their lives...
/ Life stories
How to get into the winter in the summer, make it rain on a sunny morning and curb the wind? Why filming never depends on the weather forecast and how long does it take to put a lime in a block of ice? In the realm Snow Queen know the answers, you will too.
/ Life stories
She looks better than flowers on a dress. With a warm look, a caramel smile. Next to her is a confident calm. She says - Vajra, and you want to listen to her. She says awareness, and it needs to be written down. And read. After all, this is yoga. And something else.
/ Life stories
"A dream needs to be lived and thought about. It needs to be allowed to grow stronger so that it does not shrink in front of public opinion and criticism. To know that it is unique only because it originates from love. From the love of photography." Let's talk about your dream of becoming a photographer.
/ Life stories
What kind of business becomes profitable, how to survive frustration, build your own reality with your own hands and want to get married right. Says a European Top 100 Entrepreneur who worked for Google and Cisco in Silicon Valley and raised $3 million in funding for her startup.
/ Life stories
Pole dance is the toughest type of dance that requires not only coordination and flexibility, but remarkable strength in the arms, abs and other muscles. Acrobatics. Stretch marks. Soldier work. Expander in hand. And love. Because how can you endure all this if you do not like this activity?
Laughter decorates our life and makes it brighter and more interesting. Laugh, rejoice, in real life, let there be more unrealistically funny. Let's "very" laugh together!
“About how a child helped mom lose weight”
Someone inadvertently hinted to Zhanna that it was time for her to lose ten kilograms. The woman came upset, sad, crying. Without explaining anything to her family, she closed herself in the kitchen and began to prepare her favorite chocolate donuts to calm her sadness. She always did that when she was in trouble.
Three hours have passed. Zhanna Eduardovna never left the kitchen. The husband and four-year-old son, seriously worried about the fate of the woman, nevertheless decided to approach her. The mother-wife slowly ate the burnt donuts. Next to her lay a piece of paper on which the following was written in large letters: “I want to force myself not to eat anything in order to lose weight!”. The boy, having clarified with his father what was written, went to his room and did not listen to adult conversations.
The next day, the mother of the family returned from work just as sad. Remembering that she needed to cook something for dinner, she went to the refrigerator. Suddenly, four-year-old Vitalik ran in, unplugged the refrigerator and ran away.
Why did you do this? Jeanne asked in surprise.
So that the food spoils, and you change your mind about eating them! - the son proudly answered his mother.
Just think about it! The kid turned out to be smarter than thousands of adult ladies who did not know that their overweight problem was solved so easily!
Loneliness is a bad habit
A lonely woman was awakened by a persistent ringing at the door. She slowly went to open it, albeit with great reluctance.
Who is at the door? she asked in a sleepy voice.
Plumbers, mistress! Batteries came to feel!
The woman did not like the answer at all. She hoped that they would grope her! After all, she lacked male warmth! The woman grabbed a cigarette, a lighter, went to the door peephole and shouted loudly:
Feel your batteries! I will take care of mine!
Short funny stories
"Passenger from a fairy tale"
It was evening. There was a girl on the train, diligently solving crossword puzzles. A man sat next to her and watched her intently. Noticing that the fellow traveler's gaze was stuck on one of the questions, he politely asked:
Girl, can I help you with something?
What is the name of what helped Baba Yaga to manage vehicle? - answered the girl with a question.
Pomelo! The man replied without hesitation.
The girl looked at her “tip” in surprise and after three minutes asked:
How do you know?
I am a close relative of this grandmother! I know a lot about her!
Passengers who heard this phrase rolled with laughter. Each of them, most likely, presented himself as some kind of fairy-tale hero.
It's all the men's fault!
A husband and wife are walking through a hypermarket. The wife tells something inspired, and the husband does not pay any attention to her at all. The woman was hurt. She asked her missus to appreciate her trick: she chose empty place, accelerated, made a spectacular jump .... And it turned out to be bombarded with various goods. People began to run up, take pictures of the "acrobat", applaud her. And she, pushing in different directions everything that had fallen on her, tried to find a broken nail with rhinestones. Thus ended the unsuccessful jump over the shopping cart. We should put a traffic controller in the middle trading floor! It will not be superfluous in stores either!
Real funny life stories
"Revenge of the Alarm Clock"
The woman returned from work three hours later than usual. Her only dream was to have a good sleep. She undressed, took off her pants (along with tights) and randomly placed them on the bottom shelf of the closet. Sveta took a shower and lay down in a cozy bed, breaking the tradition of tea drinking.
Morning came incredibly quickly, completely obeying the law of meanness. The tired woman, who for a few seconds hated the alarm clock, abruptly threw it at the next wall of the room. An inner voice made her get up and go to the bath. While getting ready, she decided to put on yesterday's trousers. The woman did not find the old tights, so she took out others so as not to waste time looking for things.
Svetlana put on her pants, not noticing at all that they were wearing the second pantyhose, drank coffee and ran to work. Luckily, she wasn't too late. And the day would have passed wonderfully, if not for one circumstance .... Yesterday's tights quietly got out of the trousers and began to "sweep" the floor, collecting papers and all sorts of rubbish. Colleagues saw this, but kept silent so as not to offend the employee. Ten minutes later, one of the colleagues gave out a ringing laugh. Light turned around. The colleague, continuing to laugh, approached Svetlana, picked up the “pantyhose train” from the floor and said with a smile: “You dropped it.” Now Svetlana does not wear these tights. She sewed a funny doll out of them, which every morning reminds her that the alarm clock must be treated with respect.
Funny Banana Wisdom
Two students collided in the corridor of the hostel. An interesting conversation began:
What were you frying in the kitchen yesterday? one of them asked, looking curiously into the eyes of the other.
Bananas! – happily answered the second.
Is there any point in frying them if they are already delicious?
Tell me honestly: I look so much like a monkey that I have to eat my own favorite treat raw?!
About how the switch became an enemy
The newlyweds lay down in a luxurious bed and covered themselves with a large silk blanket.
I love you so much, my dear .... - the newly-made wife gently whispered.
And I you. Light….
What kind of Light am I to you? Olga shouted in frustration and hit her husband painfully on the cheek.
So, on the wedding night, a real marital misunderstanding was born .... The man only asked to turn off the light, which treacherously blinded them.
10th place: A friend told. She passed the entrance exam in biology to the university a few years ago. The third question of the ticket is a task in genetics. She solves it. It turns out a fractional number of horses. Solves again - the answer is the same. Maybe there is an error in the condition? And all the entrance exams then in our university were written. Applicants and examiners did not see each other in person. During the exam, only applicants and assistants were in the audience, who made sure that there was no cheating. They were from other faculties - this was considered a guarantee that they would not be able to tell anyone. Those who later checked the work were in another room. If questions arose about the content of the ticket, it was necessary to write a note, and one of the assistants would take it there and bring back the answer.
Here is a friend writing a note: so, they say, and so, a fractional number of horses. Check if there is an error in the condition. The answer comes: decide, everything is right. She twists the task this way and that way. The task, in essence, is simple, there can be no other options. The answer is still the same - fractional. He writes a note again: check if there is an error in the condition. Answer: "There is no error in the condition."
In the meantime, 15 minutes remain until the end of the exam. The girl understands that she is not going to enter the university - at least this year. Even if the first two questions are written perfectly, it's a C at best.
In complete desperation, she folds the ill-fated note several times, writes on it in large letters: "GOATS" and puts it on the edge of the table.
The assistant, who has already delivered her notes twice, decides that this is another message, takes the folded piece of paper and leaves.
A minute later, a group of square-eyed examiners burst in. They have never received SUCH notes! For some reason, the rector rushed along with them. Where he could come from there, no one knows - they are not a biologist at all. Maybe he passed by and went to the light. All in unison begin to check the condition of the ill-fated task, AND IT TURNS OUT THAT THERE IS A BUG!
A friend was given an extra hour over the set time. The task was solved without error very easily and quickly. She received five points and entered the university.
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9th place:- In our house, one apartment could not carry garbage to the tanks (50 meters). persuasion didn't help. They even kicked the residents a bit - it didn’t help. Several appeals to the police helped - in the amount of fines they paid 30 tons. R. Suddenly they learned to bring their packages to the tanks. - Well, who said that paid education is bad? ;)
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8th place: I decided to learn to roller skate. I learned to drive forward and turn, but I don’t know how to go back. Here I try, my legs twist, and I fall. A grandfather of about 70 years old is passing by. He jumps, makes a swallow and rides on one leg in a circle back. Then he stops near me with the words: “Queen, your gracefulness of the fall cannot be defeated. The old page will teach you to flutter over the hippos!” I taught me to ride back, but I don’t go riding anymore. I feel like a hippo queen!
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7th place: My mother was somehow present at the next scene. My classmate was given a low mark for the one in which he expressed his own opinion. His mother came to talk to the literature teacher. To the words "But he can have his own opinion!" The following answer was received: "Maybe, but it should not differ from the generally accepted one." We have these words since then like a saying.
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6th place: As you know, a newly created university is responsible for the reform of education in our country. And now comes to us, as a leading organization, a candidate for a degree from this "respected" structure. He begins to talk about his incredible scientific successes already in Skolkovo.
The main contingent of the Academic Council is aware of whose child this is and what a formality all this meeting is, and therefore quietly kemarit to itself. One of our old men does not sleep, to whom all these perturbations are deeply in. . knee.
He has already earned everything he can, and no one will take away his scholarship from a core member.
Here he is, the scoundrel, listening to everything attentively, writing down something and even jumping up and down on some phrases of the applicant. Finally, he can't stand it, jumps up and declares. Young man, explain to us what was number zero-two in your measurements, as you have repeatedly announced to us.
The applicant begins to frantically search in his cheat sheets for a decoding of the notation.
Yes, do not look, our old man says, this is the formula for nitric oxide. Can you also tell us what you understand by the name of the mole and its molar mass? The applicant is really shocked - where did this insect appear in his report. Yes, do not strain yourself, the old man says, for us this corresponds to a certain constant of the number of atoms, according to Avogadro. Do you know Comrade Avogadro? The applicant, who has grown into a great scientist from the effective managers of Skolkovo, is really in shock. Who is this comrade Avogadro, in what department? The awakened Chairman of the Council abruptly interrupted the discussion and proposed to vote immediately. Correctly. The work was recommended for protection. So soon we will have another doctor of sciences, and there are not far from academics. And what?
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5th place: As a child, I was often left with my grandfather. Grandfather is a professor, he teaches at the university, a respected person by everyone. But he has a hobby - collecting wines. He proudly calls himself an oenophile. Before entering the six-year-old me, they took me to the "exam" in the malyshkina. One of the tasks was to name antonyms. I called the antonym “semi-sweet” to the word “dry”. Parents then talked with the teacher for a long time.
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4th place: A friend's daughter rides a hoverboard while walking and listens to music through wireless headphones. Everything would be fine, only the headphones are connected to the phone, which is with the parents. If she goes too far, the signal disappears and she drives closer to her parents! Here it is, the leash of the XXI century!
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3rd place: Positive story. In every family there is a person who has not worked up. In ours, this is a grandmother. After the death of her grandfather six years ago, we moved her to our place.
My parents say that it is Fate that takes revenge on them for the absence of obvious teenage problems in both children, us, that is, me and my sister.
For example, in July, having received a pension, she rushed to the sea with her best friend for a week, turning off the phone, and called when the money ran out. Mom went a little crazy. I had to go pick them up. At the same time, dad whinnied and asked his mother-in-law to just take him with him next time.
She has diabetes in the initial stage, and when the district doctor with a super-serious look began to list what she should not, she interrupted him:
“What will happen if I eat it?”
“You may die,” said the doctor, with the most tragic and menacing air.
- Come on! Seriously? That is, at 86 years old is there such a possibility?
In short, we prick insulin and eat what we want.
She plays chess on the boulevard with the men - and wins! She sings in the Merry Old Women choir, goes to the theater and attends all the city's free events and concerts. And recently she got herself a widowed boyfriend 8 years younger than herself.
Now they are rocking together.
Last weekend, he spoiled her with ATV racing. And then they drank 2 liters of homemade wine at dinner and fell asleep in front of the TV in an embrace on the sofa in the living room, where we caught them, returning from the dacha, like a couple of teenagers. So grandfather Kolya was introduced to the family - a dumb mother, goofy grandchildren and an invariably neighing dad.
I adore my grandmother - she is more positive and energetic than most of my young acquaintances. She loves life and knows how to enjoy it. “And how much of that life! ”- she answers my mother to all her“ mother, how is it? ".
I want to be old.
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2nd place: SATURDAY According to the old Soviet tradition and numerous requests from the residents, we decided to organize a community work day. We bought trees, paint and other equipment. Notified via email, vatsap, orally, who came. As a result, 20 families unsubscribed that they had babies in their arms, another fifteen people that they were away. On day X, I go through the main checkpoint half an hour before the start of the flash mob and observe a massive departure of cars from the village. On a weekday, I still believe - everyone goes to work. But on Saturday! I have never seen such a show. As a result, out of 1000 adult residents, only fifty people came out, this is counting teenagers.
We all want to live well, but by someone else's hands.
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1 place: I love cats! But real ones, not those who sleep all day and are afraid of mice. For me, they are GMOs in their own way). That was a long time ago. I return home, I see a kitten in the yard, a month old (an orphan, by the way), fighting with a sparrow. And won. Well, I mean, I ate)) I'm really delighted with this little brave man, I took him home.
I was afraid that from homemade food the instincts of a hunter will weaken in a kitten, but no, he constantly brought "trophies" - mice, sparrows, pigeons, a chicken, even once a duck (how, where, are we in the city?)
Six months later, a man appeared in my life. The cat didn’t accept someone else’s for a long time, got angry, bit the peasant’s fingers, if suddenly, at night, waking up, he put his hand on my chest. Thank God, the man turned out to be, though not an animal lover, but at least with common sense and did not pay much attention to the jealousy of the cat, until they finally got used to each other.
A year and a half later, a son was born. The cat no longer showed jealousy towards the new guest, apparently realizing the futility, but on the other hand he showed complete indifference and brazenly demanded his portion of affection.
And now the main thing. In short, one day we went to my husband's dacha in the village, to get some fresh air. Husband goes fishing, and I baby at home, well, of course, I'm sorry, I wanted to go to the toilet. I won’t describe the conditions of the toilet, you can probably guess for yourself, I’ll just say that what they called the “toilet” there was about ten meters from the house.
Apparently I've been there for a long time. I go home and suddenly I hear the cry of a child and some other screeching noise. I’m like a bullet in the room, I see it, in the cradle, but right by the cradle some dirty dog rushes to the sides, and my cat, as if grabbing the dog’s face, the dog can’t unhook directly, the scream, the screech is terrible, but he can’t even approach the cradle .
Then I remember vaguely. I remember that with a scream she kicked the dog in the side (or maybe in the stomach) and the dog ran away with a screech. I can’t confirm this under oath, I was under a lot of stress at that time.
Further, the child and the cat in an armful and to the neighbors. There I had a tantrum. She cried bitterly, she pressed her son to her chest, they barely took it away. I cried like that for about 40 minutes, I couldn’t stop. The husband quit fishing and came. They said that it was not a dog, but a jackal. We spent the night with our neighbors, and returned home by the first train. Cat to the vet, me to the psychiatrist, son to the pediatrician. Everything was fine with the child, thank God, but the cat and I were treated for a long time.
For a long time in my dreams, I saw the beast taking the child away, but I could neither move nor scream. I woke up, walked hugging my son, caressed the cat (he always wakes up when someone walks around the house at night), calmed down.
Now my son is 8 years old, he already walks) The other day, my husband decided that he was already old enough and told him about the jackal. I'm shaking, I can barely hold on, and my son has delight in his eyes, like "wow, what a cool thing happened to me, I'll tell everyone tomorrow, it'll be super."
Well, yes. For him, it's wow. Maybe he will understand me when they go himself. Or maybe not, who knows.
And our hero-cat still lives with us, although he has already grown old. But sparrows are still afraid to sit on our balcony))) Good luck and good friends)))
Send your interesting stories to the address [email protected] marked "In the section Interesting stories from people's lives."
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3 814
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You can meet your destiny anywhere. Sometimes a situation that initially seemed tragic turns out happily. So, for example, it happened with the heroine of our story. She flew away from hometown to heal spiritual wounds, and to build new relationships was not in her thoughts. But fate decreed otherwise. Cupid's arrow touched the girl's heart in an unexpected place and not under the most pleasant circumstances.
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Love is an all-consuming feeling. This is the most important thing worth living on Earth for. Love gives strength that a person sometimes does not even know about. If the feeling is sincere, then it is able to overcome any obstacles so that two people go their way hand in hand. Unfortunately, it often happens that people refuse love when they encounter an obstacle that seems insurmountable to them. And then they regret it for the rest of the day. If you have met your love, do not be afraid of anything. A lot can be sacrificed for her.
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There is always a time and place for love. This feeling does not matter where a man and a woman met, whether they are from the same city or different. If Cupid fired his arrow, resistance is useless. If you want to become happy, start a family, then don't be afraid of anything, take risks and fight for your feelings. Not ready for change? Then, years later, do not lament that you never knew what true love is and missed your chance to experience it. Fortunately, the hero of our story listened to the signs of the Universe, and now he is very happy.
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Our life is full of accidents. Sometimes it takes such unexpected turns that we can only be amazed. Sometimes these are pleasant events, sometimes not so much, and often we are to blame for them ourselves. They didn’t think in time, didn’t talk to friends, family, colleagues, got scared ... Of course, you can’t predict much in life, but it’s wrong to completely relieve yourself of responsibility. Especially if it concerns your children. Their experience is your experience. In many ways, their habits and attitudes are your habits and attitudes. As they say in England, bring up not children, but yourself, they will still take an example from you.
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Remember the children's game: "The sea worries once, the sea worries two, the sea worries three, sea figure, freeze"? Then it seemed that it was enough to take an intricate pose, and a miracle would happen - no one would guess me, I won. Try to use this childlike immediacy now. You will discover wonderful acquaintances, feelings, friendship, love. Read new wonderful stories in the "Interesting stories from people's lives" section.
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How often can you hear: “If I got this job / moved to another city / married a former classmate, my life would be different. I missed my happiness." We often shift the responsibility for our fate to other people, circumstances, and continue to be unhappy. But change life in better side in our power.
Read the story of our author, Oksana Chistyakova, in the "Interesting stories from people's lives" section.
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