home Converter Introduction by Marshall Goldsmith. Even the smallest success is the result of many hours, and sometimes many years of preparation and hard work

Introduction by Marshall Goldsmith. Even the smallest success is the result of many hours, and sometimes many years of preparation and hard work

Nigel Cumberland

Do not be sorry about anything. And 99 more rules of happy people

Published with permission from HODDER & STOUGHTON LIMITED

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission copyright holders.

No one can build you a bridge over which you can cross the stream of life - no one except yourself. True, there are countless paths and bridges; there are demigods who want to carry you across the stream - but only at the cost of yourself: you would have to give yourself as collateral, lose yourself. There is only one path in the world that no one can follow except you; where does it lead? Don't ask - follow it!

introduction Marshall Goldsmith

Each of us has an idea of what we want to be. But unfortunately, it is very difficult to follow these ideas day after day. We are made up of habits and subject to mechanisms that shape our behavior. Sometimes they work for us, and sometimes against us. It is difficult to overcome this minefield and become what we strive to be. Nigel's book will help us.

She inspires and offers practical ideas to help you live and work successfully in the 21st century. On the pages of this book you will find various tips on how to change for the better not only your life, but also the lives of those around you, how to become more successful at work and at home, how to build relationships correctly, be healthy, financially secure both now and after retirement. . The book will help you not only determine the meaning of success for yourself, but will also give you necessary tools to make it a reality.

Nigel was trained and certified at my center, where they help people achieve their goals - both business and life. We have carefully selected and compiled 100 ideas and exercises that will help you with this too.

In Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts Becoming the Person You Want to Be, co-authored with Mark Reiter, I write that understanding the difference between success and failure is both easy and difficult, just as managing the triggers that shape us behavior. The conclusions and exercises in Nigel's book go hand in hand with this idea. But just reading his book is not enough - you need to do all the exercises. So get ready to work.

As I already noted, it is not easy to become what you want to be. Nigel's book will give you the chance to overcome the challenges that are holding you back.

Read it, take action. And feel the difference!

Introduction

What does success mean to you? And what kind of success do you need?

The very concept of success is associated with achieved goals, fulfilled dreams, aspirations that led to the desired result.

But for everyone this happens in their own way, very individually. Your deepest dream may seem like just a stupid idea to someone. You may dream of becoming a chef, participating in a special competition and winning the grand prize, but your friend hates cooking.

It takes a lot to achieve so that one day, looking back on the path you have traveled, you can say: “I lived my life successfully.”

This book is a guide on the path to achieving your goals, whether they are bold and great or modest and even mundane.

Think right now what it means to you to be successful:

Get a higher position;

Succeed as a leader;

Lose weight;

Jog in the mornings;

Become a writer and get published;

Live until retirement healthy;

Raise good children and see them create their own families;

Calm down and live in peace with yourself;

Pay off your mortgage in full;

Learn something new;

Always follow your heart and don’t regret it;

To be surrounded by wonderful people;

Learn foreign language;

Completely defeat a serious illness;

Accumulate a certain amount of money;

Do what you love and do not experience constant stress from work;

The book No Regrets is for anyone who wants to achieve success in any field. Success is associated with different areas, including work and career, family, education, and health.

Nigel Cumberland - About the author

Nigel Cumberland, a famous coach, writer and speaker, has collected one hundred rules, following which you will achieve any goals. Nigel is co-founder of The Silk Road Partnership, one of the leaders in executive coaching and leadership training for the world's leading companies. Experience teaching and working in different countries and cities - Hong Kong, Budapest, Santiago, Shanghai, Dubai - taught him to achieve success in life.
Before this Nigel was financial director international company Coats plc and has also worked for many successful recruitment companies including Adecco. In addition, he participated in the creation recruitment agency in Hong Kong and China.

Do not be sorry about anythingAnd 99 more rules of happy people— Book Review

The book “Don’t Regret Anything” is divided into one hundred chapters that will help you achieve success, no matter how you imagine it and no matter what area of your life it is connected with:
● work and career;
● relationships and family creation;
● personality and character;
● well-being and finances;
● health and peace of mind;
● training and education;
● pension and what you leave behind.
Each chapter reveals a specific idea that will help you get closer to your goal.

1. Follow your dreams

Life will be much better if you do what you truly love. People who do what they love enjoy their lives much more than others simply because they follow their dreams. Successful people always know what they want to do and do not betray their passions. They tend to quickly make a choice and go their own way. And it doesn’t matter to them that someone may not support them and even consider them crazy.

2. Ask for help

Anyone who takes himself too seriously runs the risk of appearing ridiculous; the same one who is able to constantly laugh at himself,

never seems funny.
Vaclav Havel

Trying to be perfect will only frustrate and disappoint you. If you do not hide your insecurities, then there will definitely be people ready to support you. It is impossible to be always right about everything. Sometimes the best thing to do is to calm down, step away from the problem, agree to accept help, and stop taking yourself too seriously.

3. Create your future

It is not enough to just dream and make plans to make your dreams come true. In order to move from plans to action, you need to convince yourself that it is you who create your own future, and not luck or fate that determines what happens to you. Even the smallest success is the result of many hours, and sometimes many years of preparation and hard work.

4. Show emotional intelligence

Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it.
Charles Swindoll

Have you ever blamed yourself for reacting rashly, getting angry too quickly, being jealous, or getting irritated easily? Manifestations of low emotional intelligence can be observed everywhere: someone swears on the bus, someone yells at a child in front of passers-by, someone curses their boss with the last words, throwing their resignation letter on his desk... Emotional intellect- a necessary component of a harmonious life.

5. Do the opposite

Look at what the majority is doing and do exactly the opposite: then chances are you will always choose the right way in life.
Earl Nightingale

Success can take many forms: sometimes you have to stand out from the crowd, rise above the crowd, and see what direction everyone is going in to see if you're going in the opposite direction.

6. Make work fun

Do you like your job? Are you happy every morning when you get up and get dressed to go to the office? If you answered “no” at least once, then you are not alone. Probably, an unsuccessful choice of work would not be such a serious problem if it did not occupy such a significant part of life, since we spend almost all daylight hours at work. You simply must provide yourself with as much joy and pleasure from every working day as possible.

7. Start your day right

Get up in the morning in a bad mood - and you can say goodbye to thoughts of a successful life. How you start any business determines how successful it will be. This also applies to the beginning of each day. Everyone is familiar with the expression “getting off on the wrong foot.” If not literally, then in a figurative sense, these words are one hundred percent true. Eat wise saying, which is attributed to Aristotle: “ A good start“It’s already half done.” Whether it's work, cooking dinner, or playing sports, a good start helps you finish what you started.

8. Make friends with the past

Some people believe that persistence makes us stronger, but sometimes you have to learn to let go.

Hermann Hesse

You can't change the past, but you can change your thoughts about it and your feelings. The past can be very insidious. We can only remember the bad, forgetting about all the good that also happened.

9. Take breaks

How many rest breaks do you allow yourself during a typical working day? If you work hard without taking breaks, you will simply become dull, like a saw, and will no longer be capable of anything. Take breaks, otherwise your productivity will end one day.

10. Learn from life

Learning new things in itself is a form of success - you expand and deepen your knowledge, and become wiser. Try to view tedious, boring, or primitive tasks as opportunities to learn more. Even when the work is easy and monotonous, do not switch off from the process, do not go on autopilot just because you have already done it many times. Those who stop learning begin to die.

11. Trust your inner voice

Your secret weapon on the path to success is intuition. Be confident in yourself and listen to your inner voice. Successful people know when to use certain techniques and skills and when to trust their instincts.

12. Get rid of stress

Stress is trash modern life, which we all produce. If we do not dispose of it properly, it will accumulate so much that it will fill our entire lives. Stress can ruin your life. Stress is merciless. It extinguishes dreams and takes away happiness. It can ruin your health, ruin relationships with loved ones and bury any career plans. Get rid of stress!

13. Make yourself feel good

A successful life requires a friendly environment, which means you need to please people. Try to gain the sympathy of others without betraying yourself. Sometimes it is necessary to say or do something to the detriment of your ability to please.

14. Say yes

Find a way to say yes. The answer “yes” means that you will do something new, meet new people, change the picture of the world. Answering “yes” makes you stand out from the crowd, makes you an optimist, shows that your glass is half full. You become the one everyone turns to. The answer “yes” helps not to grow old. In a situation where most people say "no", a successful person will say "yes"

15. Say no

When you say yes to others, make sure you don't say no to yourself.
Paulo Coelho

Great: saying yes is the right thing to do. But such an answer will never become your trump card if, by answering “yes”, you actually mean “no”.
It is very easy to follow someone else's choices in everyday matters: where to relax, what to eat for lunch. Much the situation is more serious when you give an affirmative answer, but everything inside you screams “no.” By going against yourself, you definitely lose your chances of achieving your goal or fulfilling your dream. Don't be afraid to say no, follow the rules in the book

16. Give your time

Be helpful. Whether you're spending time with friends, helping co-workers, or volunteering, nothing beats the feeling of self-worth that comes from helping those in need.
Gillian Anderson

True success comes from helping others succeed. By selflessly giving your time to those who need it, you will come to moral purification and humility.

17. Focus on what you can control.

Stop worrying about what you can't control - it's a waste of energy. The energy that you could spend on something subject to your influence. Listen to common sense and recognize that some situations cannot be easily changed, at least not in the short term. Read a book

18. Live within your means

Your economic security does not depend on where you work, but on your ability to produce - to think, to learn, to create, to adapt.
This is the true Financial independence. Its essence is not in the possession of material values, but in the ability to produce them.
Stephen Covey

You will need money to make your dreams come true and achieve your main life goal.

19. Live in the real world

Close email, turn off your phone and the Internet. Find a way to set boundaries so that when you need to, you can both concentrate on work and disconnect from it. Technical progress- a good servant, but a bad master. Take the time to look at what is happening in front of your eyes, not online.

20. Concentrate

Success requires time and full dedication. This required condition, no matter what you want: change the world or just change your apartment. All success stories are basically stories about people with one clearly defined goal. Sometimes such people look simply obsessed.

21 More love

If you could truly love, you would be the most powerful person in the world.
Emmett Fox

Love can be magical power, or maybe a psychological disorder. It all depends on the point of view. One thing is clear: the energy of love drives successful people

22. Reinvent yourself

Reinventing yourself is a necessary process if you want to grow and prosper. Look back and you will probably find many moments in the past when you reinvented yourself. True, at the time it might not seem important to you, because sometimes we only understand after the fact what happened.

23. Take care of your health

If you are healthy, you are likely to be happy. And if you are healthy and happy, you will also have the wealth you need. Even if that's not all you want.
Elbert Hubbard

What is the point of working as hard as you can and exerting yourself inhumanly if, as a result, the money you earn will then be spent mainly on doctors?

24. Know how to forgive

By forgiving others, you give yourself permission to move on. You release yourself from the prison where you drove yourself with negative emotions. It is very important to understand that you must forgive others for your own well-being. When you decide to make your life successful, forgive everyone who has offended or hurt you.

25. Be part of the tribe

Feeling like part of a group is important. In doing so, it is possible to find an individual balance between time spent with others and the solitude needed to “recharge the batteries.” If you are shy or unsociable, you may find yourself more alone than in company.

26. Exude confidence

If you are satisfied with your current self and are happy to be this way, then you are confident in yourself. For a successful life, such confidence is necessary; you must consider what you are doing and where you are going to be right, understand what you know and what you don’t, and be ready to talk about it. To be truly confident means to live in harmony with yourself

27. Give what you deserve

Recognizing other people's achievements where it is due is very good habit that brings inner satisfaction. This is a priceless feeling.
Loretta Young

You can express recognition one on one or in public. It doesn’t matter how you thank the person - in a meeting, in a letter, or even shouting to him from the rooftop - it is important that the gratitude is expressed. Even a few words of gratitude have great power.

28. Don't get attached to things

I believe that material things can contribute to a pleasant life. But if you don't have good friends and loving relatives, life will be empty and sad, despite all the material things.
David Rockefeller

You are yourself, not your things. Material objects do not define who you really are.

29. Maintain emotional contact

It is impossible to become successful without achieving mutual understanding with people. This is a necessary process: you begin to understand each other and you become comfortable together. Success comes when people follow you, want to work with you, and support you.

30. Live consciously

Awareness is the ability to understand what is happening in this moment, and not wish it were otherwise.
James Baratz

Mindfulness is a state where you feel only in the present. You focus completely on being here and now, and stop worrying about the past or worrying about the future. You are calm and pay attention to what is happening

31. Compromise

Any relationship (friendship, romantic or business) is not a relationship unless it is mutual; then it's a one-way street leading in one direction...to nowhere.
T. F. Hodge

Compromise is necessary - for the sake of loved ones, for the sake of preserving important relationships.

32. Be more than your job

Work is only one aspect of your life. Even if you claim that your business is all you have and you are successful, can you really call a life fulfilled if you exclude everything else for the sake of work?

33. Get to know yourself

The main life task of a person is to give life to himself, to become what he potentially is. The most important fruit of his efforts is his own personality.
Erich Fromm

By learning more about yourself, you can engage in self-improvement by honing your strengths and working on your weaknesses. Every person has strong personal sides; they can be given by nature or developed in the process of life. Find out about yourself what others already know.

34. Don't be afraid to get older

Stop mourning what you've lost and start enjoying what you've achieved. Each of us looks back too often. It's time to stop yearning for the good old days. Growing up is a great thing.

35. Be both an extrovert and an introvert

True extroverts love to speak their thoughts out loud, spend time socially, and learn by doing. True introverts are good listeners, like to think before they speak, think long before they act, and are happy if they have their own space. The key to success is to learn to manifest the type you need in yourself; that is, depending on the situation, be able to use the traits of an extrovert or an introvert that you have. Your task is not to get rid of what was given to you by nature as the main component. You just need to learn to act not only automatically, but also in a manner that is unusual for yourself.

36. Live without prejudice

It's important to be objective. The brain is programmed to protect us, which means it can set limits on what it thinks is possible or right for us. Constantly push these boundaries because the brain can be cautious.
Chrissie Wellington

Stubbornly adhering to the established opinion and conclusions once made, it is impossible to perceive new information and gain new impressions.

37. Become a better parent

You must have confidence and patience in order to raise your children to help them grow into people who can successfully live life.

38. Stay away from polluted environments

Pay attention to how environment affects your health and stress levels, and if necessary, permanently leave a place that is not suitable for work or living.

39. Get out of your comfort zone

If your life is perfect, you have achieved the success you were looking for, and you feel quite happy, then stay in that comfort zone. Success will not come on its own, you need to go and find it. Try

40. Appreciate your loved ones

Make it a habit to be grateful. Express your gratitude sincerely and without expecting anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you and you will find more and more people around you
Ralph Marston

Have you let anyone know how much you value them today?

41. The whole world is a source of wisdom, take advantage of it

There are three ways for a person to learn to be wise: the first, the most noble, is reflection; the second, the easiest, is imitation; the third, the most bitter, is experience.
Confucius

The main sign of wisdom is the ability to take responsibility for your life.

42. Look up to the best

Look at successful people and learn from them. The dynamics of your self-improvement will skyrocket, and it will be much easier for you to achieve success. It will be easier for you to achieve your goal by somewhat copying the behavior and way of thinking of people who have already achieved it.

43. Find the courage to survive failures.

It is impossible to live without failing at anything, unless you live so carefully that it would be difficult to call it life.
True, in this case you fail by definition.
Joanne Rowling

Be careful when living your life mentally.

44. Accept yourself as you are

Unfortunately, how we feel about ourselves affects those around us. We tend to project or transfer our negativity onto those around us. Becoming more envious, more cynical, we begin to get angry, criticize others, stop loving loved ones, and respecting colleagues. And these are not at all the traits that are typical successful people. As soon as you stop comparing yourself to others, you immediately realize that everything is not so bad for you.

45. Monitor and manage your thoughts

Regardless of whether you consider yourself successful or not, you are equally right. What we think about fundamentally affects our lives. Thoughts literally determine reality. They can push us to move in different directions. Consciousness is so strong that it can drive a person into one state or another.

46. Don't forget people

You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get others interested in you.
Dale Carnegie

If you don't forget people, then they won't forget you.

47. Find out what motivates you

Our behavior can be driven by the need to prove something, and this is often associated with childhood and adolescence. The roots of the need to behave one way or another may be unclear, but sometimes they are obvious. Give yourself space for development and self-improvement.

48. Appreciate what you have

Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining.
Others are bored by your complaints, and they do not bring any benefit to you and do not solve problems.
Zig Ziglar

49. Make peace with your parents

Love your parents and take care of them. You will truly understand what they meant to you when their chairs are empty. Parents have an amazing way of “reading” the characteristics of your behavior and noticing repeating patterns in it.

50. Laugh more

Laughing is good for you and people also start to like you. Why not actually relax and have fun in order to be healthier! Laughter and smiles can save lives.

51. Keep it individual

Remember: we will never achieve the goals we strive for out of envy.
Looking at your friends and wanting to get what they have is a waste of precious energy. Each of us is unique, and what brings happiness to another may make you unhappy.
Marcus Buckingham

Be yourself, no matter what others say.

52. Get enough sleep

Meanwhile, lack of sleep causes many problems: your senses become dull, your ability to concentrate decreases, you become more irritable and start doing wrong things. Chronic lack of sleep also affects health: the immune system weakens, heart problems appear, the risk of diabetes increases, and sexual desire decreases.

53. Do it your way

In finding our way, we inevitably disappoint someone. When making your own path in life, sometimes you have to upset others. Our loyalty to ourselves always upsets someone.

54. Strive for simplicity

We are always in a hurry, constantly running somewhere - to modern world this is the norm. They always expect ideas, solutions, and opinions from us on any matter. Our mind convinces us that life is much more complicated than it is. Confucius said this very well: life is actually simple, but we persistently complicate it. Simplicity is the smartest choice for successful person.

55. Start today

Life hangs by a thin thread, so carelessness is like a cancer of our time.
If you are going to do something, do it now.
Tomorrow may be too late.
Pete Goss

If you want to fail, start regularly postponing until tomorrow what needs to be done today.

56. Value experiences, not things.

Buy not things, but experiences. People become happier by spending money on emotions rather than on objects. Things break and go out of style.
And the impressions only become brighter with each retelling.
Gene Chatzky

Experiences bring more joy and satisfaction than anything material.

57. Write down your goals

If you have a goal, write it down.
If you don’t write it down, you won’t have a goal, you will only have a desire.
Steve Maraboli

Even dreams that seem impossible can be realized with a clearly defined goal.

58. Read with passion

It really doesn't matter whether you read fiction or something different. You can delve into thick books from time to time, but it seems to me that short stories, newspapers, magazines and blogs are also a good option. It is important that you find text that will become food for your mind and soul, that will give you necessary information, will lift your spirits, inspire and encourage interesting ideas. Reading gives you the opportunity to take a broader look at many things and understand them more deeply.

59. Get thick skin

Don't take anything personally. Other people's affairs do not concern you.
Everything people say or do is a projection of them own reality, personal dream. If you develop immunity to other people's views and actions, you will avoid needless suffering.
Don Miguel Ruiz

If you are easily vulnerable, then many difficulties await you on the path to success. That's the way the world is. You need to be a little thick-skinned even in order to live an ordinary day - at any moment you can be offended by accident or intentionally.

60. Be generous

True generosity is not just giving a couple of coins to a beggar, but stopping and talking to him. Find out and understand the circumstances in which he finds himself, feed him and buy him food for tomorrow, help him with something else. This is the face of a truly successful person - to be someone who helps others without thinking about themselves.

61. Eat right

The situation on the food industry front today is not as favorable as we would like, and there are plenty of problems with what we eat and drink. It's hard to consider life successful if you have diabetes, heart disease, or colon cancer.

62. Strive for harmony

To be in harmony with the outside world means to be honest, open, kind, to act confidently and calmly, inspiring trust. back side, that is, complete disharmony - to be hypocritical, break promises, argue and not even try to understand people. You compose yourself and your life like a piece of music.

63. Come home on time

Those who work hard and those who work smart have different success rates.
Jacob Morgan

The ideal option is to get everything done during working hours.

64. Work while you can

There is a good French proverb: “We spend the entire first half of our life waiting for the second, and the entire second we regret the first.” Abruptly stopping work can have a devastating effect.

65. Improve your body language

To succeed in any area of life, you need to get along with people, which means you need to control your nonverbal messages and be able to read those sent to you by others in sign language. This “signaling system” must be used when building and maintaining relationships. Body language should become the nonverbal language of success. Control your nonverbal messages.

66. Choose your friends wisely

Over time, you will understand that no one meets you just like that. Some people test your strength, some simply use you, and some teach you something. But most important are those who help you realize your potential. Make friends with those who help you open up and grow and who will always support you.

67. Be curious

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, doing new things, because we are curious.
And curiosity keeps us in the lead on a new path.
Walt Disney

On the path to success, you simply need to be inquisitive.

68. Do what you say

Always be true to your word. By doing what you say, you become a great example of a trustworthy person. And these days trust is very important quality, even, I think, the most important of all. It takes time to earn it, but you can lose it instantly due to one wrong decision.

69. Wait a moment before hitting send.

Our whole life - at work, in communication with family and friends - revolves around thousands emails, text messages and Internet messages that we send to each other. Before sending a message, re-read it.

70. Make friends with your fears

I shouldn't be afraid. For fear kills the mind.
Fear is a small death that entails complete destruction.
I will face my fear and accept it. I'll let it pass through me.
Frank Herbert

If you know the root cause of fear, you can understand and defeat it.

71. Tell the truth

True success is built on integrity, like a building on a foundation. If the foundation is not reliable, the building will sooner or later begin to collapse.

72. Become a master of your craft

Success will come when you stop doing things you don't plan to be an expert at and make room in your life to do things you want to be good at.

73. Apologize if you're wrong.

The ability to raise your hands up, openly admit guilt and apologize is a manifestation of maturity and wisdom. Many people refuse to admit they are wrong, preferring to blame others and not take responsibility for their own mistakes. Admitting your guilt and forgiving sets you free.

74. Don't lose touch with old friends

One of the most beautiful qualities of friendship is to understand and be understood.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Do your best to maintain relationships with friends.

We often get upset over trifles. Whether they didn't give you enough of a pay raise or get your favorite parking spot, sometimes even the little things get on your nerves. Ask yourself, “Will this matter to me tomorrow, next week, or in a year?”

76. Be an advocate for technology

The modern world is increasingly dependent on technology. What was considered science fiction just a few years ago has now become commonplace. Taking full advantage of modern technologies, you remain successful.

77. Be persistent and don't give up

Our biggest weakness is that we give up quickly.
The surest way to success is to always try again.
Thomas Edison

When trying to achieve something in life - especially if deep down you really want it - never stop or give up too quickly.

78. Beware of addiction

Throughout life, everyone can succumb to different addictions. What addictions do you have? Can addiction or compulsion affect your success? Even if the answer is no, consider which of your current habits are at risk of becoming an obsession or addiction over time.

79. Spend more time in nature

Take a deeper look into nature, and then you will understand everything better.
Albert Einstein

Nature opens your soul and clears your thoughts

80. Use your mind wisely

We are all geniuses. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, it will live its entire life believing that it is stupid.
Albert Einstein

When we evaluate our mental abilities, we recognize that we feel more confident in some areas than in others. Consciously developing your mental abilities in the areas you need to live a successful life will reap enormous rewards.

81. Focus on reputation, not rankings

We live in a world where the number of “likes” plays an increasingly important role. There is only one thing that stands the test of time and that is character.

82. Say goodbye to those who make your life miserable

Toxic relationships don't just make us unhappy.
They taint our outlook and approach to healthy relationships, preventing us from realizing how much better things can be.
Michael Josephson

The biggest danger is people who poison your life.

83. Learn from your grandparents (before it's too late)

You are lucky if you have grandparents to communicate with, who care about you, love you and guide you on the right path. They can convey to you their wisdom, understanding of life, and teach you to approach many things differently. Having lived a long life, grandparents look much more philosophically than you at relationships between people, at joy and despair, illness and death, cataclysms and changes, failures and successes.

84. Be someone you can be proud of.

What are you like when no one can see you? They say that a person's true character can be judged by what he is like when he is alone.

85. Be grateful

Let us be grateful to those who make us happy, they are like gardeners who help our souls bloom.
Marcel Proust

Think about what you can be grateful for today. Feeling grateful is good for your health. Be grateful more often, sincerely say “thank you.”

86. Focus on the good news

There is always bad news in the world, and the state of your soul and mind directly depends on how you perceive it. Don't let bad news become a reason to give up on success in life.

87. Real success cannot be faked

We all pretend - some more, some less. We pretend that we are happy, in love, in control of everything and generally have no problems, including with money. One day your secret may become clear, no matter how deeply you hide your secrets.

88. Age is not a vice

At 20, we care what others think of us. At 40, we don't care what they think of us. At 60 we discover that they didn't think about us at all.
Ann Landers

89. Breathe correctly

Breath is life; If you breathe properly, you will live a long life. Breathing affects and changes your physical and mental state.

90. Travel more

There is a good Moorish proverb: “He who does not travel does not know the real value of human life" Travel whenever possible, it will definitely make you richer.

91. Keep a diary

It is very helpful to write down what you are thinking and what is happening to you every day. Every year there is more and more factual evidence that diary entries help strengthen the immune system.

92. Lose yourself and find yourself again

Each of us has experienced feeling lost. Anything can happen in life, sometimes it is unclear what to do and where to move. It's normal to feel lost sometimes. Just take a time out.

93. Plan

By thinking through your goals and prioritizing ahead of time, you'll be in a better position when the time comes to take action. A combination of planning and spontaneity leads to success.

94. Check the boxes on your bucket list

Most of us are selfless, we willingly spend time helping others fulfill their dreams and get what they want, and often do it at a cost. own desires. Take care of fulfilling the desires on your list.

95. Help the planet

There is an opinion that our planet is about to reach a point where the environmental situation can no longer be changed for the better. Whether you believe it or not, everything is already happening according to the pessimistic scenario, and you need to know about it. The time has come when it is no longer possible to do nothing.

96. Think high

I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know for sure: only those of you will be truly happy who have sought and found a way to serve people.
Albert Schweitzer

Thinking about something greater than yourself is good for your mental health. Such thoughts make you happier. Founder Martin Seligman argued that it was vital to our well-being.

97. Unlearn!

The learning process itself is simple. Each of us has our own perceptual system that we use when reading instructions, understanding unfamiliar work methods, and delving into new tasks. The process of relearning is a mortal battlefield on the path to knowledge of the 21st century.

98. Be a mentor on the path to success

Help others achieve their goals, this is another secret of your success. By becoming a mentor to someone, you will not only help them, but also yourself.

99. Leave something behind

Every time you move on to something new—graduating from school, changing jobs, moving to a new office or home—you leave some mark of your own in the same place. Think about everyone life stage, which will preserve something about you, and take care that what you leave will be pleasant to the people who come to take your place. Make sure that whatever you leave behind is pleasing to the people who come to take your place.

100. Don't regret anything

Your main mission - not to regret anything at the end of your life - begins today.

Published with permission from HODDER & STOUGHTON LIMITED

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the copyright holders.

* * *

No one can build you a bridge over which you can cross the stream of life - no one except yourself. True, there are countless paths and bridges; there are demigods who want to carry you across the stream - but only at the cost of yourself: you would have to give yourself as collateral, lose yourself. There is only one path in the world that no one can follow except you; where does it lead? Don't ask - follow it!

Introduction by Marshall Goldsmith

As I already noted, it is not easy to become what you want to be. Nigel's book will give you the chance to overcome the challenges that are holding you back.

Read it, take action. And feel the difference!

Introduction

What does success mean to you? And what kind of success do you need?

The very concept of success is associated with achieved goals, realized dreams, aspirations that led to the desired result.

It takes a lot to achieve so that one day, looking back on the path you have traveled, you can say: “I lived my life successfully.”

This book is a guide on the path to achieving your goals, whether they are bold and great or modest and even mundane.

Think right now what it means to you to be successful:

Get a higher position;

Succeed as a leader;

Lose weight;

Jog in the mornings;

Become a writer and get published;

Live until retirement healthy;

Raise good children and see them create their own families;

Calm down and live in peace with yourself;

Pay off your mortgage in full;

Learn something new;

Always follow your heart and don’t regret it;

To be surrounded by wonderful people;

Learn a foreign language;

Completely defeat a serious illness;

Accumulate a certain amount of money;

Do what you love and do not experience constant stress from work;

Be happy, content with what you have.

These are some of my clients' responses. Now, after stopping reading, try writing your list. Don't change anything in it and don't think about the order in which ideas come to mind. Let it be just a stream of consciousness.

The list will seem endless to you, and I can say for sure that it will change all the time. Once you reach the “top of the mountain”, you will find that you have fresh ideas for new “mountains”. And then “mountains” will appear that you didn’t even suspect about yesterday. Dreams and priorities change.

One hundred chapters of this book will help you achieve success, no matter how you imagine it and no matter what area of your life it is connected with:

Work and career growth;

Relationships and family creation;

Personality and character;

Well-being and finance;

Health and peace of mind;

Training and education;

Retirement and what you leave behind.

Each chapter reveals a specific idea that will help you get closer to your goal. On the first page you will find a description of this idea and the necessary explanations. On the second you will find a variety of exercises. Start working with them today to align yourself with the specific mindsets, habits, and behaviors you need to increase your chances of success.

Some exercises will be completely new to you, others will seem intuitively obvious. One way or another, it is important to do them all. The exercises are specifically designed to help you form new habits and tune your internal computer for success. Rarely lucky people perform such actions “without prompting,” deliberately and consciously, and they are the ones we most often consider successful.

You will learn what needs to be done right now, and what can be done a little later, depending on what the situation is in your life. If an exercise cannot be performed because it is incompatible with what is happening, put it aside and return to it when circumstances allow.

Who am I to teach success?

This book is the result of my fifteen years of work as a coach and mentor to people from different walks of life in many countries around the world. Based on this experience, I have compiled a list of the 100 most important areas that you need to focus on in order to achieve success in life in general.

I got married, and to this day I live in a happy marriage, raising two amazing children: my son is now 16 years old, and my adopted daughter is 24 years old;

Go to Cambridge University and then, when I was just 26, become the regional finance director of a... largest companies Great Britain;

Make your travel dream come true and live in eight countries in 26 years;

Participate in the creation successful company and sell it for several million dollars;

Become a famous writer and speaker;

Find the opportunity to do what you love and help others by working as a coach at Silk Road Partnership;

Learning to live in harmony with myself, being content with what I have, is probably my most important achievement.

All that remains for me is to wish you all the best on the way to your cherished goal. The ideas and exercises you will find in this book will help you achieve the success in life that you deserve.

1. Follow your dreams

Life will be much better if you do what you truly love. People who do what they love enjoy their lives much more than others simply because they follow their dreams.

Richard Branson

Dreams are the fuel of success; without them, life will never be full and at least partially successful. Just as a car engine won’t start without good gasoline, you run the risk of living life without a dream, in fact, without ever starting to live.

Any success is always preceded by the fulfillment of a dream. As a coach, I have worked a lot with successful people, and all of them, in one way or another, came to success by achieving at least one of their dreams. Sometimes it was a childhood dream, sometimes it came later, but in any case, the achievements of these people were associated with a dream come true. It was she who, once captivating them, encouraged them to action, inspired them. A dream, becoming a goal, made me believe in the impossible, change my life in the most unpredictable way, leave my comfort zone and take risks even in a situation where it was difficult to imagine.

As adults, we often follow other people's expectations, not noticing or forgetting what we really love, and allowing ourselves to be led. I can tell you about my own bitter experience. At school I really loved geography, but I was advised to go to university to study economics. And I became an accountant instead of following my dream and doing what I loved. Have you ever made a similar choice? Sometimes, only when you look back, you realize that you are not going your own way.

Successful people always know what they want to do and do not betray their passions. They tend to quickly make a choice and go their own way. And it doesn’t matter to them that someone may not support them and even consider them crazy. Look at Steve Jobs, the founder Apple, who dropped out of a prestigious university to pursue his dream.

Any success is always preceded by the fulfillment of a dream.

Guide to action

Realize your dreams

What are you dreaming about? What do you want to achieve? What dreams would you like to achieve?

Make a list of answers to these questions. And don’t just write – draw, draw. This will help you see connections between your ideas and discover long-forgotten goals and deepest desires. Here are some questions to help you:

What did you like to do as a child? Who did you want to become?

If you didn't have to think about making money, what kind of life and what business would you choose for yourself?

What in life do you love most and would like it to happen to you as often as possible?

What do you like to do in your free time?

What in the lives of your friends or colleagues might make you a little jealous?

Believe in the dream

Think about how to fulfill your dream, and at this moment observe yourself: have fear and negative thoughts appeared? Perhaps an inner voice will tell you: “I’m too old, and it’s too late to do this,” or “I’m married, I have a mortgage, I can’t change my life so dramatically,” or “My parents will never support me.” Successful people will confirm that there will always be reasons not to do something, but at the same time they will add that you need to gather all your will and courage, take the first step and start.

Create an algorithm for making your dreams come true

You will be surprised, and perhaps even frightened, to realize how much you need to do to achieve your dream. The remaining 99 chapters of the book will help you find the tools and decisions needed to overcome this fear. Your main task is to figure out how to fill the gap between the stage you are at now and where you want to be. This is not easy, and therefore I advise you to attract help from your loved ones, ideally to unite your dreams: together you will definitely be able to make them come true.

2. Ask for help

Anyone who takes himself too seriously runs the risk of appearing ridiculous; the one who is able to constantly laugh at himself never seems funny.

Vaclav Havel

It takes determination to say, “I don't know,” but it's a very good reaction and a clear sign that you don't take yourself too seriously. One of the most remarkable qualities is the ability to honestly admit that you have No answer. Trying to be perfect will only frustrate and disappoint you. If you do not hide your insecurities, then there will definitely be people ready to support you.

Too many people act as if they know exactly what to do in situations that, in truth, are beyond their control. Too many people try to talk or act like they are confident when in reality they need help. Both at home and at work, we are often forced to act as if we can give answers to all questions at any moment.

And the secret is to say in time: “Wait a minute, I don’t know what to do yet.”

When life challenges us, we are impatient to respond, and we stand up for what has already been said and of which we were confident. At the same time, we blindly do not notice other opinions and proposals. Successful people are always ready to admit that they were wrong or didn’t know something.

Life is unpredictable and changeable. It is impossible to be always right about everything. Sometimes the best thing to do is to calm down, step away from the problem, agree to accept help, and stop taking yourself too seriously.

Trying to be perfect will only frustrate and disappoint you.

Guide to action

Find your weak points

Consider the question: “Have you ever stubbornly stuck to your views and opinions, refusing to reconsider a situation in which you might be wrong?”

What do you not notice and why? Do you always adhere to the algorithms of your behavior? Do you really need to out-argue your interlocutor? Is it true that you never take into account what people younger than you say? Do you hate losing and always set yourself up to win by any means necessary?

Then be prepared to change the way you act and become more open to new things. Take for example any ordinary day when you make decisions, defend your opinion, answer questions, and try to ask yourself: “Am I missing something? Is there something here that I don't see?

Need a "jester"

Discovering your weaknesses is not easy. Ask family, friends, or co-workers to be your “court jester.” Just as it happened in the Middle Ages at the royal court, your “jester” at the right moment will be able to directly tell you that you are too stubborn, or exposing yourself to ridicule, or too serious about yourself. Would you rather have a “jester” tell you what’s wrong, or be laughed at?

Learn to laugh at yourself

Successful people are great at being ironic about themselves – their mistakes and wrong train of thought. Be prepared to happily admit your mistakes and make fun of yourself.

3. Create your future

The future is not something we enter into. This is what we create.

Leonard Sweet

Successful people never rely on chance or luck. Perhaps, looking at such a person, you think that he is just lucky. He was probably in the right place at the right time. In fact, even the smallest success is the result of many hours, and sometimes many years of preparation and hard work.

It is not enough to just dream and make plans to make your dreams come true. In order to move from plans to action, you need to convince yourself that it is you who create your own future, and not luck or fate that determines what happens to you. You need to tune in to this way of thinking and control yourself. Prepare to be persistent, work hard, sacrifice a lot, take risks and just do what you need to do.

Never deny yourself and don’t give up your life to the will of the waves. As a coach, I have seen many people give up any attempt to influence their future. They refused personal responsibility for themselves, coming up with various dubious excuses for this, and blamed bad luck or other people for all the failures that happened to them and may still happen. The easiest way is to convince yourself: since success hasn’t come yet, it means it won’t happen. But if you really want a decent future, then you need to overcome this fatalistic way of thinking.

Many very successful people have had to overcome a lot of adversity along the way to their goal. For example, Winston Churchill suffered long political failures before becoming one of the most outstanding prime ministers in British history.

To stop letting your past influence your future, the first thing you need to do is start thinking differently. The main thing is what you think and feel. Can you tell yourself, and more importantly, believe that you are creating your own future? Or, as William Ernest Henley's poem "Unbowed" so vividly puts it, that you are "the master of your own destiny"?

Even the smallest success is the result of many hours, and sometimes many years of preparation and hard work.

Guide to action

Don't let anyone clip your wings

Find those who will support you, the environment in which you can create your future. This can naturally relieve you of the need to communicate with people who do not accept or doubt your plans.

Do you find it difficult to believe that you can create your own wonderful future? Overcoming limitations that prevent us from believing in something is never easy. But it’s easier to do this if you understand where doubts grow from.

Right now, write down everything that stops you on the path to your dreams. It's completely normal to fear the worst or assume that problems are worse than they really are. Once you write it down, try to reframe your view of these negative factors and look at them positively. For example, if you were fired, consider that in this way you were given freedom and the opportunity to find something better.

Take stock of your plans and dreams, and then ask yourself, what are you most worried about? Think about the worst thing that could happen and try to answer honestly what the likelihood is that it will happen. Is this a good enough reason to stop and stop creating the future you long for?

Nietzsche F. Untimely reflections: Schopenhauer as an educator // Nietzsche F. Works: in 3 volumes. T. 2: The Wanderer and His Shadow. M.: REFL-book, 1994. Note. lane

Published in Russian: Goldsmith M., Reuter M.. Triggers. Form habits - build character. M.: Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2016. Note edit.

William Ernst Henley is an English poet. The mentioned poem was written in 1875; in the canonical translation it ends with the phrase “I am the master of my destiny, I am the captain of my soul.” Note lane

No one becomes happy by accident. This is a certain position in life that you first need to work on, and then it begins to work for you. The main thing to start with is the ability to recover. Psychologists believe that it is the antonym of depression. This is a kind of weapon against the inevitable falls in the life of every person. A Japanese proverb says: “Fall seven times, get up eight.”

Develop the following 8 habits, and they will help you feel much happier and overcome life's difficulties much easier:

1. Don't worry about what others think of you.

Happy people do not allow negative people to influence their well-being. Whatever these people say, everything flows off them like water off a duck's back. After all, they know for sure that a worthy person is not one who has no shortcomings, but one who has merits.

2. Always see the positive in everything

There is something good in everything bad. If you can't see in the situation positive side, such people create it themselves. They have no regrets. If it was good, then great. And if it was bad, then it’s an experience.

3. Always be friendly and grateful

Happy people don't care what you look like or where you come from. All they need is one more person to laugh and be happy with. They are not shy and do not spare a few minutes to express gratitude to other people.

4. Smile and be positive as much as possible

“We laugh not because we are happy; We are happy because we laugh."(William James). Smiles and laughter are an integral feature of happy people. It just so happens that the people with whom we spend a lot of time influence us and our perception of the world around us. The more time we spend with positive and optimistic people, the brighter our lives will be.

5. Know that not everything in this world is perfect

It is difficult to overcome perfectionism, but it is necessary. Everything is good in moderation. Happy people know how to control the desire for perfection. They do not punish themselves for inaccuracies and shortcomings. They are proud of themselves and their achievements. Sometimes things don't go as planned, and that's okay. It is impossible to keep everything under control.

6. Live in the present

“I've experienced a lot of scary things in my life, some of them actually happened.”(Mark Twain). Happy people do not wait for Friday evening, Sunday morning, buying a new car, a new apartment. They don’t wait for spring, summer, autumn, winter. After all, the worst mistake is to think that you are living, when in fact you are lying in a storage room, waiting for life.

7. Contribute to the world around you

One of the best ways feel happy - change the world. To do this, it is not necessary to save people or stop a tsunami. Sometimes it's enough just to smile at someone, give a compliment, or help a friend.

8. Continue learning

Happy people are curious and strive to learn new things about the world and the people who inhabit it. There is always something we don't know about yet. Interest in life gives energy, has a positive effect on thinking and makes days more eventful.

Happiness is a character trait. Some people have the nature to wait for it all the time, others constantly search for it, and still others find it everywhere. © Elchin Safarli

Appreciate simple pleasures that cost nothing and appear on their own - eating ice cream on a bench in the park, petting a cat, seeing a rainbow. Finding joy in the little things and being grateful for everything you have is where happiness begins.

Nigel Cumberland

Do not be sorry about anything. And 99 more rules of happy people

Published with permission from HODDER & STOUGHTON LIMITED

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the copyright holders.

* * *

Friedrich Nietzsche

Introduction by Marshall Goldsmith

As I already noted, it is not easy to become what you want to be. Nigel's book will give you the chance to overcome the challenges that are holding you back.

Read it, take action. And feel the difference!

Marshall Goldsmithauthor of the bestseller “Triggers. Form habits - build character"

Introduction

What does success mean to you? And what kind of success do you need?

The very concept of success is associated with achieved goals, realized dreams, aspirations that led to the desired result.

It takes a lot to achieve so that one day, looking back on the path you have traveled, you can say: “I lived my life successfully.”

This book is a guide on the path to achieving your goals, whether they are bold and great or modest and even mundane.

Think right now what it means to you to be successful:

Get a higher position;

Succeed as a leader;

Lose weight;

Jog in the mornings;

Become a writer and get published;

Live until retirement healthy;

Raise good children and see them create their own families;

Calm down and live in peace with yourself;

Pay off your mortgage in full;

Learn something new;

Always follow your heart and don’t regret it;

To be surrounded by wonderful people;

Learn a foreign language;

Completely defeat a serious illness;

Accumulate a certain amount of money;

Do what you love and do not experience constant stress from work;

Be happy, content with what you have.

One hundred chapters of this book will help you achieve success, no matter how you imagine it and no matter what area of your life it is connected with:

Work and career growth;

Relationships and family creation;

Personality and character;

Well-being and finance;

Health and peace of mind;

Training and education;

Retirement and what you leave behind.

Who am I to teach success?

Introduction by Marshall Goldsmith. Even the smallest success is the result of many hours, and sometimes many years of preparation and hard work

Nigel Cumberland - About the author

Do not be sorry about anythingAnd 99 more rules of happy people— Book Review

1. Follow your dreams

2. Ask for help

3. Create your future

4. Show emotional intelligence

5. Do the opposite

6. Make work fun

7. Start your day right

8. Make friends with the past

9. Take breaks

10. Learn from life

11. Trust your inner voice

12. Get rid of stress

13. Make yourself feel good

14. Say yes

15. Say no

16. Give your time

17. Focus on what you can control.

18. Live within your means

19. Live in the real world

20. Concentrate

21 More love

22. Reinvent yourself

23. Take care of your health

24. Know how to forgive

25. Be part of the tribe

26. Exude confidence

27. Give what you deserve

28. Don't get attached to things

29. Maintain emotional contact

30. Live consciously

31. Compromise

32. Be more than your job

33. Get to know yourself

34. Don't be afraid to get older

35. Be both an extrovert and an introvert

36. Live without prejudice

37. Become a better parent

38. Stay away from polluted environments

39. Get out of your comfort zone

40. Appreciate your loved ones

41. The whole world is a source of wisdom, take advantage of it

42. Look up to the best

43. Find the courage to survive failures.

44. Accept yourself as you are

45. Monitor and manage your thoughts

46. ​​Don't forget people

47. Find out what motivates you

48. Appreciate what you have

49. Make peace with your parents

50. Laugh more

51. Keep it individual

52. Get enough sleep

53. Do it your way

54. Strive for simplicity

55. Start today

56. Value experiences, not things.

57. Write down your goals

58. Read with passion

59. Get thick skin

60. Be generous

61. Eat right

62. Strive for harmony

63. Come home on time

64. Work while you can

65. Improve your body language

66. Choose your friends wisely

67. Be curious

68. Do what you say

69. Wait a moment before hitting send.

70. Make friends with your fears

71. Tell the truth

72. Become a master of your craft

73. Apologize if you're wrong.

74. Don't lose touch with old friends

76. Be an advocate for technology

77. Be persistent and don't give up

78. Beware of addiction

46. Don't forget people